“Prometheus” was a spark of hope after the “Alien” franchise hadn’t given us anything good since the 1980s. I hoped that “Alien Covenant” would answer some of the questions that had been left by “Prometheus” but instead we get conned by a film that does very little to advance the plot.

The crew of a colony ship discover an uncharted world that seemingly looks like a suitable alternative to their current destination. They change course and find a world that at first appears to be a paradise but it isn’t long before things go south. The horrifying Xenomorphs are on this planet and so is something else.

Michael Fassbender (“X-Men: First Class”, “Shame”) plays both David (the android from “Prometheus”) and Walter and the character is just terrible this time around. Some of the revelations about the David character are just plain weird and I didn’t care about anything to do with the character. Katherine Waterston (“Inherent Vice”) plays Daniels and is fairly dull. The Xenomorphs get very little screen time and they don’t seem to pack the same punch this time that they did in “Alien” and “Aliens”. I was very disappointed by what little we see of the Engineers/Space Jockeys.

“Alien Covenant” is not a terrible movie and it’s not even the worst of the “Alien” franchise but it just seems like a real waste. What little new material that it offers seems very irrelevant and I felt that by the end of this movie, we were in the exact same position as we were at the end of “Prometheus”. I really hope that there is no direct sequel to this movie (but I suspect that there will be) and I instead hope that we get a new “Alien” film that actually give us something creative and interesting.

“Alien 3” is a weak sequel in just about every meaning of the word. It misses out what made the first one an eerie, haunted house in space classic and what made the second outing a terrifying and action-packed war. “Alien 3” ditches the sci-fi, the horror and the action in place of a dull gore fest.

Within the first few minutes of “Alien 3”, any resolution made in the last film “Aliens” is rendered useless as we discover Ellen Ripley (Sigourney Weaver “Ghostbusters”, “Avatar”) was the only survivor of a crash on a prison planet. The series famous style of alien named ‘Alien’ (or Xenomorphs) has found its way onto this prison planet and is killing people off, one by one. Ripley must help a band of criminals comprised of murderers, thieves and rapists in order to try and kill the last remaining Alien.

Sigourney Weaver is dull this time as Ripley. No shred of her humanity appears to be left and I hate how she has this almost spiritual connection with the Alien. The other characters are severely dull and just pointlessly spout out bad language. The Alien looks pathetic. This time it bursts out of a dog and has some different features due to its a change of host. The Alien scurries around with horrible camera angles that try to show the view of the creature much like the style of shots they use for the shark in “Jaws” but there it is done well.

“Alien 3” seems like a very bleak prison movie that has simply had the Alien creature added in at the last minute. “Alien 3” is a slap in the face to the first two movies as not one moment is scary, not one moment features any sci-fi as the prison planet has virtually no technology on it, not one moment features any action and all-round the film just isn’t fun to watch. It’s a pointless add-on to the series in an attempt to make more money without actually putting effort into the product.

While I once again find myself intrigued by the work of Tim Burton (“Batman”), I find that he once again, he didn’t get everything finely tuned in this remake of “Alice in Wonderland”.

In Burton’s “Alice In Wonderland”, Alice (Mia Wasikowska “Jane Eyre”) who is now 19years of age finds herself returning to the strange and inspired world of the very place she visited as a young child only to find herself immersed in a psychotic version of it (much like Dorothy in “Return to Oz”). The Red Queen (Helena Bonham Carter “Fight Club”) is now in control and has turned the once beautiful world into one ruled by fear. With the help of some of her old friends including The Mad Hatter (Johnny Depp “Ed Wood”) and some new ones including The White Queen (Anne Hathaway “Get Smart”) Alice sets to take back the land and make it peaceful once more.

I’m not too fond of the girl that played Alice as I found her depressing. Johnny Depp made The Mad Hatter interesting but I feel like the movie as a whole isn’t quite on the right frequency. I liked The Red Queen as I found her to be well voiced. The rest of the cast was quite frankly a mixed bag.

Although I applaud Burton for his unique twist I just wasn’t happy with the end product. For me it was a little too dark and perhaps even a little too bizarre at points. The scene where Alice becomes a knight and she starts fighting looked ridiculous beyond belief and some of the characters looked horrific no thanks to the C.G, which for me is a little overused in this movie. Although there are some great ideas I just don’t think they’re conveyed particularly well. If you are really into the weird world of Burton then maybe should check this one out.

In his Hollywood movies, he was shunned aside by abysmal comedians such as Will Ferrell (“The Other Guys”) and Ben Stiller (“Night At The Museum”) but now Steve Coogan is back in Britain as his signature character Alan Partridge in this low-budget comedy that is far funnier than any of the stuff he did overseas.

Alan Partridge presents a radio show in Norwich but things take a turn for the worst when his co-worker Pat Farrell (Colm Meaney “Under Siege”) is fired and decides to take the place over with his double-barrel shotgun. Now it’s up to Mr. Partridge to save the day.

Steve Coogan is actually a very good comedian as his Partridge character seems witty on occasions but very often just seems to be an absolute failure at being funny and that is kind of the point because it isn’t the actor at fault, it’s the character and that’s only okay due to the fact that’s the way Coogan wants it so he makes Partridge unlikeable but by doing so he gives him an incredible feel of normality. Colm Meaney is also very good as Pat by also delivering a few laughs. The other characters just seemed to fade into the background.

“Alan Partridge: Alpha Papa” may have a terrible title but it’s a funny film. It captures the unlikeable qualities of Mr. Partridge very well and in a way makes him funnier because of this but there certainly are some misfires here: the main one being Alan’s fantasy as to how he escapes the situation. Also I was disappointed with the supporting cast as not one of them managed to make me even crack a smile. The film is good for fans of the character (I myself saw only a few episodes of the show and thought it was reasonably good). Unlike Mr. Bean’s mediocre big-screen adaptation this movie remains true to the programme.

Wow. “Akira” is an amazing film that is often considered to be ‘the anime movie’ and that phrase may well be true. The film is absolutely spell-binding as it’s a basically crossover between “Blade Runner” and “Mad Max”.

In 1988, World War III has begun and Tokyo is nuked; now in 2019 a rebuilt Tokyo is filled with biker gangs and a police force that is struggling to cope. A government experiment may now endanger the entire city though after a biker gang member is transformed into and overpowered telekinetic weapon of destruction and his friend and some other government experiments may be the only ones that can help thwart him.

The characters here do deliver a few goofy bits of dialog and that’s a bit of a shame but the characters are drawn so brilliantly here that at times you’ll be amazed you’re watching a cartoon. Anime/manga is not the most realistic art form but here the fluency of the movement and excellent use of shadows really brings the doodles to life (maybe “Pokémon” should take notes). Never before in a movie have I seen characters that at times look so stylised yet so lifelike as if they were right in front of you.

“Akira” features a highly detailed world that it does in the same vein as movies such as “Blade Runner” and “Metropolis” and the post-apocalyptic gangs are clearly taken from “Mad Max” so it definitely has good sources and that it builds upon by showing stuff you couldn’t do in a live-action film without using a computer. “Akira” is an intriguing look at the future and it is a slight shame that near the end the film does just descend into action (yet it’s still amazing to look at). The film has had a massive influence of cinema, almost as much as tv shows like “Star Trek” and movies like “2001: A Space Odyssey” and it deserves the praise it receives.

“Airplane!” is a parody movie that throws enough jokes and good ones at you to keep you laughing throughout. This is brought to you by the people who made “The Naked Gun”, “Top Secret” and the television series “Police Squad!” so you know that you’ll be laughing. Sure the jokes are juvenile but they not completely disgusting so you won’t have that problem.

In “Airplane!”, a plane leaves with an assorted bunch of misfits for passengers. The crew and several passengers take ill so a war veteran named Ted Striker (Robert Hays) is forced to land the plane. Other passengers include are Dr. Rumack (Leslie Nielsen “The Naked Gun 2 ½: The Smell of Fear”), a nun and a lady who speaks jive. Also in this film are some wacky ground controllers and an inflatable autopilot named Otto.

Leslie Nielsen provides a lot of laughs as Dr. Rumack and it’s amazing to think that although he’d been making films for over thirty years before this movie that this was his big breakthrough. Robert Hays is okay. Lloyd Bridges (“Sea Hunt”) is okay. Most of the cast provide a decent portion of laughs but it’s amazing how many laughs you get from the inflatable autopilot.

The famous quote from this movie has Robert Hays’ Ted Striker saying “Surely you can be serious?” with the reply by Nielsen’s Dr. Rumack “I am serious and don’t call me Shirley” but this for me at least wasn’t anywhere near the funniest point in this movie. My favourite bit is when a panicky passenger is told to calm down and she’s slapped, shortly after another person comes along and does a similar thing but then you see a whole queue of unique passengers with various weapons including a gun ready to convince her to calm down. There are loads of sexual jokes that are funny, there are loads of slapstick jokes and there are loads of other types of jokes too. This movie crams so much in that’s it’s hard not to find something funny in it.

The original “Airplane!” was a great spoof of the airport/plane genre but this sequel seems to be a rehash, which sadly spoils some of the good comedy that is featured in it.

“Airplane II: The Sequel” takes place in an unspecified future where army veteran pilot Ted Striker (Robert Hays) from the first movie is in a mental hospital (again!?) but he escapes in order to try and stop the launch of a space shuttle that will take people to the Moon to live. He’s too late to stop it but he manages to get on board where he has to save the passengers before the shuttle goes straight into the Sun.

The people returning from the original include Robert Hays, Julie Haggerty, Peter Graves and Lloyd Bridges (“Sea Hunt”) but sadly none are particularly good but they’re not horrible either. I wish Leslie Nielsen (“The Naked Gun”) had returned as well. William Shatner (“Star Trek: The Motion Picture”, “Shoot Or Be Shot”) is entertaining despite the fact he has a brief amount of screen time. Sadly there is no wacky inflatable autopilot like the first movie and instead you have a computer that reminds me of H.A.L. 9000 from “2001: A Space Odyssey”.

“Airplane II” is a strange movie that has its fair share of good moments including how terrorists easily get through customs but an innocent, old lady gets searched and the bit where E.T. tries to make a phone call is hilarious. Despite the good moments that this film has, I feel that too many jokes and plot points from the first film are used and that it makes the film seem like they were running out of ideas so a few things could have been changed like why not this time have Ted Striker in a prison instead of a mental hospital? Also why have the same romantic drama between Striker and his girlfriend Elaine (Julie Haggerty) that we saw in the first movie? A few things could have been altered and then I’d have recommended this one without an issue.

“Air Force One” takes a lot of inspiration from “Die Hard”, “Passenger 57” and a few other films but it includes a clever twist by making the actual target the hero of the film. It’s not as director Wolfgang Petersen’s other films “The NeverEnding Story” or his other Presidential thriller “In The Line of Fire”.

After the ruthless dictator of Kazakhstan is captured, President James Marsh (Harrison Ford “Raiders of the Lost Ark”, “Star Wars”) of America says he and his country will no longer have any tolerance with cruel dictators and will not negotiate but when he boards his plane a group of terrorists take control and demand the release of the very man that has just been incarcerated. The President is an ex-soldier and works from hiding to defeat them and save the lives of everybody on-board including his wife and daughter.

Harrison Ford is a good choice as the President as he can portray the thinker as well as the kind of guy that can do a bit of fighting, two things that are key here. I really like Gary Oldman (“Bram Stoker’s Dracula”, “Batman Begins”) as the main terrorist. I also like Glenn Close (“Fatal Attraction”) as the Vice President. The President’s family aren’t so great in it.

The action is good, the suspense is there throughout the duration of the film and the performances are good but the big downside to the film is that at times it seems like just an excuse to showcase some special effects and that is definitely a little disappointing and it hurts the smartness of the other aspects of the picture. If you loved the first “Die Hard” like I did and you thought “In The Line of Fire” was pretty darn good too then this film is worth the watch but despite the large amount of explosions and gunfire it won’t impress you the same way those two films did.

“After Earth” has one aim and that is to mark Jaden Smith (“The Karate Kid”) a star. He appeared alongside his father, Will Smith (“Men In Black”), in the “Pursuit of Happyness” (yes, that’s how the spelt it) and once again he joins him in “After Earth” with M. Night Shyamalan (“Signs”) in the director’s chair. This film is dreadful from beginning to end.

In this devastatingly bad sci-fi, a crash-landing leaves Cypher Raige (Will Smith) severely injured and only his son, Kitai (Jaden Smith), can help trigger a beacon so they can be rescued. The two have crashed on Earth, which is now no longer safe for humans to be on since a millennium’s worth of evolution has led to the creatures of Earth becoming incredibly fierce… there’s also an alien monster on the loose.

The acting in this movie is absolutely awful. Will Smith looks incredibly bored as he spends the vast majority of the picture merely watching Jaden smith on a screen. Jaden Smith is somehow even worse with one of the most obnoxious accents ever put to film. The two have absolutely zero chemistry in this film and you won’t believe this is the same father and son duo you saw in “The Pursuit of Happyness”. The various creatures in the film look fairly bland and the alien creatures are generic.

The special effects are terrible, the acting is horrific, the plot is stupid and the dialog is awful. This is easily the worst Shyamalan film I’ve seen and I’m pretty sure it’s Will Smith’s worst movie too. Jaden Smith doesn’t deserve to be a star because he has no charisma and this film proves it. Most people despise this picture and I’m not surprised, it is absolutely appalling by any standards. This is a lifeless sci-fi movie.

“Æon Flux” is a truly awful sci-fi/action flick. It leaves you mentally and emotionally numb. I believe the filmmakers could not have made a worse product than this if they had tried to. I have heard that this film is based on an animated series, the thought of any more “Æon Flux” content sends chills down my spine.

In 2011, a disease wiped out the majority of the human race. A cure was found with the survivors living in a fortified city. Hundreds of years later, a mysterious assassin by the name of Æon Flux (Charlize Theron “The Devil’s Advocate”, “The Astronaut’s Wife”) is trying to help overthrow the oppressive government. When she is sent on an assassination mission, she discovers the true nature of what is going on. The future of the human race is in Æon’s hands.

The Æon Flux character has absolutely no personality. I did not care about her at all and the acting from Theron is poor. She spends half of the time flipping all over the place like the world’s a gymnastics competition. The other characters are really dull. One terrifying character has hands for feet; it’s disgusting. There are many goons that Theron’s character must blast away.

“Æon Flux” is painful from beginning to end. The acting is bad, the special effects are absolutely pathetic, the plot is nonsensical and the action scenes are repetitive. Some may feel I am being a bit harsh on a dumb sci-fi but this film is a disaster. I cannot seriously imagine anybody getting any level of enjoyment from this movie. Going back to the special effects, it is shocking to believe this film came out in 2005; it looks only marginally better than “Ultraviolet”. It’s boring, it’s ugly, it’s unengaging and it is pretty much unwatchable. Avoid “Æon Flux” at all costs.