No matter how bad the other six films can get, they all deliver one or two funny moments. I wanted to be sick at this one as “Mission To Moscow” is nothing more than a demonstration of how not to make a movie. It has no heart and no concept of humour. Making people laugh is the purpose of a comedy, isn’t it?

All you favourites (or should I say, what’s left of the unfunny bunch of the last six movies) return and this time they’re going to Moscow. The Russian mafia leader (Ron Pearlman “Hellboy”) has invented a piece of software that is presented in the form of a videogame but can steal people’s private information (bank account numbers etc…) so it’s up to the dopes in blue to stop him.

None of the characters are funny or even likeable and none of their dialog is good. Michael Winslow (“Spaceballs”) is horrid this time around. None of them are funny but I admit to chuckling mildly at some of his antics but here, I wouldn’t look twice at him. Tackleberry (David Graf “Police Academy”) and Callahan (Leslie Easterbrook “Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol”) are all horrific. Not even G. W. Bailey (“Police Academy”) as Harris can offer any miniscule amount of entertainment.

“Mission To Moscow” is not just the worst “Police Academy” film by far but it’s one of the worst comedies I’ve ever seen. From beginning to end, it’s nauseatingly stupid and uncomfortably boring. “Mission To Moscow” offers nothing that is even remotely positive as it would rather spit in our faces with such disgustingly dumb antics that make the first “Police Academy” look like a reasonable comedy. This movie was meant to be funny like a comedy but instead, it’s closer to a horror. Let’s just pray they never make “Police Academy 8: Here Comes The Fun Brigade”.

Brendan Fraser (“The Mummy”, “Looney Tunes: Back In Action”) stars in “George of the Jungle”, a surprisingly funny film considering just how limited the source material is. I’ve never seen the original cartoon but it’s apparently little more than a goofy Tarzan-like guy repeatedly swinging into a tree. I underestimated just how amusing it would be to see Fraser constantly slam into tree trunks.

George (Fraser) was raised by apes in the African jungle after a plane crash. Ursula (Leslie Mann “Knocked Up”) is a wealthy heiress from the United States and she finds herself slowly but surely falling for him after he rescues her from a lion. However, her fiancée (Thomas Haden Church “Spider-Man 3”) doesn’t want to give her up so easily.

Brendan Fraser is clearly having fun with the role and commits to the script despite him being tasked with looking like a total idiot for the duration of the picture. The George character is very likeable. Leslie Mann is fairly forgettable as Ursula. Thomas Haden Church is somewhat fun as the bad guy. John Cleese (“A Fish Called Wanda”) provide the voice of an intelligent ape that helped to raise George. He’s pretty funny. Richard Roundtree (“Shaft”) has a small role her. George also has a pet elephant that acts like a dog. I think the special effects for it look quite good.

This is a juvenile film but it’s enjoyably juvenile. I must admit that the last act drags a little but the first two are satisfying. I also love the catchy theme song and the animated opening. Fraser has since appeared in other films based on cartoons such as “Dudley Do-Right” and he always seems comfortable acting like a cartoon character. I think both kids and adults will find enjoyment by watching “George of the Jungle”.

Steven Seagal (“Under Siege”, “Attack Force”) is once again out for revenge, this time it’s in “Out For A Kill”. This is another underwhelming action flick that has some fairly decent action sequences by Seagal’s standards but it’s riddled with bad special effects and an unnecessarily confusing plot.

Seagal stars as archaeologist Professor Robert Burns, an innocent man that gets framed for involvement in drug smuggling on the border between China and Kazakhstan. As he tries to prove his innocence, he must battle against vicious Chinese gangsters that are seeking to dominate the drug trade between Asia and Europe. Burns will travel across the globe in his quest.

Seagal yet again relies heavily on whispering much of his dialog so it’s often hard to hear. It might be a good decision considering just how daft some of it. Of course, his character is not just a simple archaeologist but a guy with all sorts of specialist skills. The other characters in this movie are really forgettable and there are just way too many of them for us to understand any of them properly. The only guy that I’ll really remember is the chap Seagal fights in the barbershop. The guy defies the laws of physics as he crawls on the walls. Apparently, Seagal had just watched “Spider-Man” and demanded “Out For A Kill” included a fight with a guy that acts like Spider-Man.

“Out For A Kill” starts off somewhat well but it just gets so needlessly messy. There is way too much going on and so much of the dialog is whispered that we just have no idea what’s going on most of the time. The special effects in some scenes are absolutely horrendous. The scene where he flies a small plane looks particularly awful. The fight scenes are actually okay and I have a soft spot with the ridiculous one against the guy crawling on the walls. It’s such a random sequence but it’s easily the highlight of the movie.

I’ve never seen the “Drawn Together” series but I imagine it’s as unspeakably unfunny and abominable as the film. This is seriously one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen. I can’t think of another animated movie as grotesque and sickening as this. It’s completely meaningless and filled with anti-Semitism.

A group of mismatched cartoon characters on a fake reality tv show discover that t hey have been cancelled. They set off on a mission to get their beloved show back. However, it will be perilous journey as the killer robot I.S.R.A.E.L. (Seth MacFarlane “Ted”) has been dispatched to erase them.

We have characters that initially look harmless including rip-offs of Superman, a Disney princess and Pikachu from “Pokémon”. However, all these characters are obsessed with committing depraved and disgusting acts. We see one character urinate in a corpse while another shoots an innocent man’s head off with a shotgun. All the members of the main group murder a bunch of puppies and kittens by stamping on them while another character stimulates himself. We also have the robot I.S.R.A.E.L. and that of course means we no end of anti-Israeli jokes that are not even funny. There is even a monster that defecates into its own mouth.

I dread to think of an innocent child accidentally seeing this because the characters could easily be mistaken for innocent kids’ cartoon characters. This is a movie that makes light of adultery, necrophilia, religion and just about everything else. The problem is that none of it is even remotely amusing. The whole movie is twisted and mean. If it ever made me chuckle, I might be able to overlook how obscene it is. As it is, it’s completely worthless and despicable. Please never let any child anywhere near this. This is a film that even many adults would find too disgusting so don’t be fooled by the animation.

Horror movie hostess Elvira (Cassandra Peterson) is back with “Elvira's Haunted Hills”. Unfortunately, this sequel is significantly weaker than the original “Elvira: Mistress of the Dark”. Peterson still brings the personality and a lot of the humour is similar but the film lacks energy and the comedic timing feels off.

Elvira and her maid are travelling around Europe in the 19th century when they are invited to stay at a spooky castle. It turns out that Elvira looks just like the dead bride of Lord Vladimere Hellsubus (Richard O’Brien “The Rocky Horror Picture Show”, “Dark City”). Elvira must uncover the mysteries of the castle if she hopes to escape.

Cassandra Peterson is still charming as Elvira and she doesn’t seem to have aged a day since the first film. Elvira is of course known for wearing rather revealing clothing and is not afraid to use her assets for comedic purposes. This time, she just isn’t as amusing to watch. O’Brien is rather forgettable as Lord Hellsubus. We also have a guy doing his best Vincent Price (“House On Haunted Hill”) impression but it’s not very impressive. The movie is actually dedicated to Price as he was a friend of Peterson’s in real-life as many of his films were hosted by her when broadcast on television. The other characters in this movie are pretty bland and unremarkable.

“Elvira’s Haunted Hills” has a set that looks just like one of the “Frankenstein” films and there are traps that reminded me of “The Raven” with Béla Lugosi. There are plenty of gags in this movie but few of them seem to feel natural. The whole movie feels rather forced and it’s a shame because the star is so likeable. If you haven’t seen “Elvira: Mistress of the Dark” then check that out and then probably skip this one.

“A Low Down Dirty Shame” is an awful comedy directed by and starring Keenen Ivory Wayans (“I’m Gonna Git You Sucka”). It clearly wants to be “Shaft” meets “Beverly Hills Cop” but it’s just so painfully dull and unfunny. It’s easy to see why people don’t talk about this film.

In this film, Wayans stars as Shame, a private detective and ex-cop. He gets hired to take down Mendoza (Andrew Divoff “Air Force One”, “Wishmaster”), a drug lord and personal enemy of Shame. With the help of his assistant, Peaches (Jada Pinkett “The Matrix Reloaded”, “Scream 2”), Shame must defeat Mendoza and bring his criminal operations to an end.

Keenen Ivory Wayans is not credible as tough detective guy. He’s certainly no Sam Spade. It’s strange because Wayans knew this when he made action-comedy “I’m Gonna Git You Sucka” by making his character goofier. Jada Pinkett is so obnoxious and horrendous as a stereotypically aggressive and loud African-American woman that it’s a chore to sit through her scenes. Andrew Divoff is completely forgettable as Mendoza. If anybody is the villain in this film, it’s Jada Pinkett for being so unbearable to watch. Salli Richardson (“The Great White Hype”) is bland as Angela, Shame’s old flame. Kim Wayans (the sister of Keenen) has a small role.

“A Low Down Dirty Shame” offers nothing original as it lifts plot elements and gags from other films such as “Beverly Hills Cop”. What we have here as an action film that is never particularly exciting and a comedy that is certainly not amusing. Wayans can be funny but he seems to often forget that you actually need to be creative and not just aim low and hope for the best. It’s not the worst movie Wayans has ever done but it’s a really bad one and one you should avoid at all costs.

Back in the early 70s, Hanna-Barbera made a short-lived animated series called “Sealab 2020” that faded into obscurity. Decades later, somebody got the idea of re-editing and re-dubbing the footage to make it a comedy series with the help of some original animation. Interestingly, this spoof is now actually way more famous than the original show and it ran for far longer too. I get what it’s trying to do but I just don’t think it’s very funny.

Set in a research facility on the ocean floor, “Sealab 2021” sees the whacky crew members get into all sorts of mischief. They seem to do anything and everything to do avoid doing any actual work and they absolutely love to irritate one another.

I’m not really familiar with the original series so I cannot really compare the characters here to the original versions. The characters here are just completely ridiculous and anything and everything goes here. The animation of the characters is your typical 60s and 70s Hanna-Barbera style. It’s very obvious what the makers of this show have done as you can often tell which the shots have new animation. However, I do think they did their best to try and match the style.

The idea of re-editing and changing the audio on old footage and combining it with new material is nothing new. Woody Allen did this in the 60s with “What’s Up, Tiger Lily?”, Steve Martin’s “Dead Men Don’t Wear Plaid” also featured this technique. Since “Sealab 2021” started, we’ve also had Kung Pow: Enter The Fist” doing the same thing. My main problem is that a lot of the jokes just fall flat. This is like something you would see on an internet video and not a series that actually aired on television. The episodes are very short but they seem to go on forever. I think a lot of that is because you are looking at the same thing with characters just stood around flapping their mouths so new and offensive dialog can come out of them.

Marlon Wayans (“Senseless”, “Scary Movie”) stars in “Fifty Shades Of Black”, a spoof of the “Fifty Shades Of Grey” book and film. While I’ve never seen the original film nor read the book, it’s one of those piece of entertainment than everybody is at least vaguely aware of. This spoof film is predictable and features a lot of disgusting gags but I’ll admit that I did chuckle a few times at it.

In this film, Hannah Steale (Kali Hawk “Bridesmaids”, “Couples Retreat”) is a university student that falls for eccentric businessman Christian Black (Wayans). However, Black has some extremely bizarre and aggressive sexual habits and seeks to bring Hannah into his abusive and whacky world.

Marlon Wayans is so obnoxious here. He bounces around like a kid that has had too much sugar and he just will not shut up. The worst moment features him performing as a male stripper where we have to endure the sight of him showcasing his small manhood (the actor is of course wearing a small prosthetic). Kali Hawk is forgettable as Hannah Steale. Jane Seymour (“Wedding Crashers”, “Live And Let Die”) gets dragged in here as Black’s racist adopted mother. She’s actually fairly amusing but we only get to see her for mere minutes.

A lot of the humour is really gross. If you’ve seen other Wayans brothers’ films such as “Scary Movie”, “Little Man” or “White Chicks” then you’ll know what to expect. This film is definitely not a comedic abomination like “Little Man” was but it’s certainly not good. One somewhat amusing moment has Wayans torture a girl by tying her down and reading the original book to her; they both comment on how bad the writing is. There are undeniably some small chuckles to be had here but they are buried under Wayans’ annoying performance and gags so gross that you honestly feel like throwing up.

“Python” is a truly dreadful giant snake monster. There seemed to be a bit of giant snake film craze after “Anaconda” as we got “King Cobra”, “Mega Snake”, “Boa” and this movie. This movie is just absolutely horrendous from beginning to end with bad special effects, a boring plot and atrocious performances.

In “Python”, a military plane is carrying a giant snake when it crashes. The giant snake is now on the loose and causing havoc everywhere it goes. This thing spits acid at people and it’s also pretty smart. The expertise of Dr. Anton Rudolph (Robert Englund “A Nightmare On Elm Street”) is called upon.

The acting in this movie is abysmal. We have Robert Englund in yet another schlocky horror movie. Casper Van Dien was the star in “Starship Troopers” only a few years earlier but here, he’s stuck with an awful script. Wil Wheaton from tv’s “Star Trek: The Next Generation” and William Zabka (“The Karate Kid”) are also in here. When Jenny McCarthy (“BASEketball”, “John Tucker Must Die”) gives the best performance in the whole movie, you know there is a real problem. The snake looks appalling. The C.G.I. is so poor here that the snake looks worse than the one in “Anaconda”. At least you barely saw the one in “Anaconda”, which helped to disguise its flaws. In this movie, you get a chance to see in detail just how awful the effects are.

“Python” is darn right pathetic from beginning to end. Nobody is entertaining in this movie. The characters are just awful. We get a pointless scene near the beginning with some nudity as two girls perform a sex act. Anybody that just wants to see some risqué content can turn the film off after that scene because that is as sexual as it gets. Even most of the bad filmmakers know to keep the bulk of the exploitative material until at least the middle of the movie.

What is it that makes people laugh? The British love “Monty Python”, the French absolutely adore Jerry Lewis (“The Bellboy”) and the Americans somehow cherish their “Saturday Night Live”. “Looking For Comedy In The Muslim World” shows us just how hard it can be to understand the sense of humour of others.

Comedy actor Albert Brooks (“Defending Your Life”, “Broadcast News”) stars as himself in this film where he is recruited by the American government to go on a fact-finding mission to learn what makes Muslims laugh. His work takes him to India (despite being mainly Hindu, they have over 150 million Muslims) and Pakistan as he tries to complete a lengthy report.

Albert Brooks not only stars in this film but he wrote and directed it to. He takes a few shots at his career and his level of fame. A recurring joke is that nobody he interviews during his study has any clue who he is. Brooks gives a really good performance as a guy that is enthusiastic about his new work despite not having a clue of where to begin. Sheetal Sheth (“The World Is Unseen”) is really funny as Maya, who is hired to be Brooks’ assistant. She also has an aggressive Iranian boyfriend.

The title is misleading. It could have easily been shortened to just “Looking For Comedy” because it’s not really about Islam. It’s a satirical piece about cultural barriers and celebrity status. It would have worked just as well had it been about Brooks venturing to China, Russia or any other distant land. It’s not a movie that everybody will like but I think it is a clever and interesting film. There are plenty of jokes about Indian call centres other similar topics but beneath the surface level stuff, there is some truly fascinating commentary about the relationship between culture and comedy.