“One Hour Photo” is a very scary movie; it’s arguably as terrifying as “Rear Window” and “Jaws”. However, it fails to hit a lot of the correct notes and doesn’t flow as well as it should.

Robin Williams (“Good Will Hunting”, “Aladdin”) stars as Seymour ‘Sy’ Parrish, an employer at a one-hour photo lab, who always prints off an extra copy of photos of his regular customers the Yorkins for himself. After several years of doing this, he has built up quite a collection, not for sexual reasons but because he wants to be part of the family. When he discovers the father Will (Michael Vartan) has been cheating on his wife, he takes his obsession to the next level.

Robin Williams may trick you into thinking this is a weaker performance as he keeps his cool throughout most of the film here so it is less manic than usual. Actually, it is one of his better performances as he’s so undeniably creepy. I could picture Christopher Walken (“Annie Hall”), Steve Martin (“The Pink Panther”) and Jack Nicholson (“Batman”) all doing a good job but Williams just feels right for the part. The film perhaps makes Sy too forward earlier than it should for it to be as plausible as it could but in a way, that forwardness makes him seem more desperate and scarier. The other characters are disappointing.

“One Hour Photo” has the makings of a truly exceptional thriller but it lacks the finesse that it really deserves. I felt there were too many awkward silences and while intriguing, I’m not sure if I really like the perspective the film is told from. The film is very creepy as a photo man plays such a small part in one’s life. Williams is fantastic as always but I’m still waiting to see him in a really good movie.

Steven Seagal (“Under Siege”, “Hard To Kill”) and Jean-Claude Van Damme (“Universal Soldier”, “Sudden Death”) were arguably the two biggest martial arts action stars of the 90s. While many of their films were bashed by critics, they managed to make a lot of money and the two are still widely remembered to this day.

The two have never appeared in a film together and their relationship has been somewhat frosty with Seagal dismissing Van Damme’s kickboxing credentials. Van Damme is not the only martial arts star to have their fighting skills dismissed by Seagal as Michael Jai White (“Black Dynamite”) was also mocked by Seagal in an interview. Van Damme has been far more complimentary about Seagal and called for him to be cast in “The Expendables 3”.

Apparently, the two nearly got into a fistfight at Sylvester Stallone’s house. Something that would surely have been every action movie fan’s dream. If they do ever decide to work together for a film, I think many martial arts fans would be thrilled to see the two finally square off after the years of feuding.

“Once Were Warriors” is a violent and deeply unsettling film that tackles some very serious issues such as domestic violence and racial inequality. It (literally) pulls no punches and it is a fascinating watch. Some may not be able to tolerate the violence but this is powerful movie worth seeing.

In “Once Were Warriors”, a Maori family struggles to stick together as they live in the slums of Auckland. Jake Heke (Temuera Morrison “Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones”) is the father, a severely violent drunk with a serious temper. Also, the family must face societal problems as anything even resembling a ‘perfect’ family becomes increasingly distant.

Temeura Morrison is fantastic as Jake. The character is actually likeable at times, which makes it even more shocking when he does turn violent. The main victim of Jake’s violence is his wife Beth (Rena Owen “A.I. Artificial Intelligence”). The character Beth is very sympathetic and we grown to understand why she tolerates the abuse. The acting from Mamaengaroa Kerr-Bell as the eldest daughter is also great. We want to see this family overcome the hardships they face yet we become very aware that every glimmer of hope is nothing more than a glimmer.

“Once Were Warriors” does not mess around; it shows you believable domestic violence and a child being the victim of a truly shocking crime. The movie has been cited as New Zealand’s best film and I can see why because this is a great movie. You will often notice that I criticise films for excessive violence but the writing in a movie such as this, completely justifies the use of the extreme violence. This is a stylish, moving and engaging film that will both shock and entertain you. I sincerely hope that you are able to give “Once Were Warriors” a try.

“Once Upon A Time In China” stars Jet Li (“Fearless”, “Romeo Must Die”) as the famous Chinese folk hero, Wong Fei-Hung. It features some very enjoyable martial arts sequences but the movie also impressed me as a historical film with great set design throughout.

Wong Fei-Hung is a respected physician and martial arts, who comes to oppose the influence of foreign forces (including the British, the French and the Americans) when he sees his native China become increasing westernised as the world’s great powers profit from their activities in China. He is ultimately forced to fight as he takes on Chinese gangsters eager to make money from the suffering of their fellow Chinese.

Jet Li manages to pull off some impressive moves here and there even if this film isn’t as action oriented as many of his other movies. There is a noticeably slower pace here than in the majority of action films but that’s because this film is trying more to be a historical picture and biography film so we naturally get a more detailed portrayal of the character of Wong Fei-Hung. Yuen Biao (“Dragons Forever”) also appears in this film so martial arts fans should be happy. It’s a little disappointing that no famous European or American actors were cast as the various non-Chinese characters.

There are some very creative fight scenes in this movie so fans of the martial arts genre are going to be entertained. The movie’s pacing and style is also potentially going to make it more accessible to those that do not care so much for martial arts movies. “Once Upon A Time In China” is the first in a series of movies so I’m looking forward to watching some of the sequels and see where they go from here because this is a remarkable start.

Steven Seagal (“Under Siege”, “Above The Law”) directs and stars in “On Deadly Ground”, a disappointing action flick with a confused environmental message. There is distinct lack of action during the first half of the movie and it’s only really in the last act that we get to see some shootouts and fistfights.

In “On Deadly Ground”, Forrest Taft (Seagal) is a specialist when it comes to dealing with oil drilling-related fires but when he finds out that wealthy businessman (Michael Caine “Get Carter”) is intentionally using low-grade materials, he sets out to blow up the oil refinery… to ‘save’ the environment.

Seagal’s lack of charisma makes him very dull to watch in this film and it’s particularly noticeable here compared to some of his other work due to the lack of fight scenes. There is a bizarre sequence where he goes on a mystical journey whilst spending time with some Native Americans. Michael Caine would be enjoyable as the villain if he was in a better movie. The film criminally underuses R. Lee Ermey (“Full Metal Jacket”), who plays a mercenary here. The other characters aren’t very interesting, especially the Native Americans, who have nothing interesting to say or do.

“On Deadly Ground” is arguably the stupidest film I’ve seen about saving the environment. The movie ends with a preachy speech from Seagal about how people have to stand up against big oil companies that are destroying the planet but this comes straight after we see him cause a major environmental disaster by blowing up an oil refinery. This is a silly film with some mild enjoyment to be had during some of the action scenes, the finale is amusing because it is so dumb and Michael Caine is somewhat enjoyable as the villain. The movie was a flop and it’s not surprising Seagal hasn’t been back in the director’s chair since.

“Old Dogs” is exactly the kind of comedy film Eddie Murphy (“Beverly Hills Cop”), Steve Martin (“Planes, Trains & Automobiles”) could have made in the 2000s. Instead, we have Robin Williams (“Toys”, “Good Will Hunting”) starring in it. This is another talentless movie that wants to beat the laughter out of you in absolute desperation.

In “Old Dogs”, business partners Dan (Williams) and Charlie (John Travolta “Face/Off”, “The Punisher”) are about to seal the biggest deal of their careers. However, Dan then meets up with his ex-wife and she gets him to look after their two seven-year old children, Zach (Conner Rayburn) and Emily (Ella Bleu Travolta). Now, it’s up Dan to show these kids the best time of their lives.

Williams always gives 110% in his films and makes things funny that nobody else could be the issue is that he keeps picking movies that just don’t work at all. Even if you had Stanley Kubrick (“2001: A Space Odyssey”) or Alfred Hitchcock (“Psycho”) in the director’s chair supporting him, this script just couldn’t work. Travolta gives his usual average at best performance. We see surprisingly little of the kids in this film considering they have such significance to the film’s premise but what we do see of them isn’t great.

I laughed a lot. I wanted to enjoy Williams’ films because you can see how hard he works but without him, I would have only maybe cracked a smile or two. Many of the funniest parts in this film consist of the cheap gags most comedy movies use (e.g. adult accidentally knocking out kid) and the only reason this movie gets the marks it does is because of its star power. “Old Dogs” is another waste of Robin Williams’ potential and all-round another mediocre comedy.

“Office Space” is a comedy directed by Mike Judge, who I’ll always fondly remember as the creator of tv’s “King of the Hill” and not “Beavis And Butt-Head”. “King of the Hill” works by creating quality over quantity with its laughs. With “Office Space”, gags hit you a little faster; it still is pretty much the same.

In “Office Space”, bored-out-of-his-mind office cubicle worker Peter Gibbons (Ron Livingston “The Conjuring”) is sick and tired of being a slave to his extremely smarmy boss, Bill Lumbergh (Gary Cole “Pineapple Express”). He decides to team up with his friends to rebel against the company by using a trick to collect all the fractions of pennies that get left, the characters even mention how this happened in “Superman III”.

I have to admit I didn’t think Peter was particularly interesting but then again that’s the whole point. He represents the ordinary and quite frankly boring person that is created via working in such a mundane environment. My favourite characters are computer whiz Michael (David Herman), the poorly treated Milton (Stephen Root “Finding Nemo”) and Tom (Richard Riehle “The Fugitive”), who really serves no use at the company. I dislike the casting of Jennifer Aniston from tv’s “Friends” as she is put in her usual romantic comedy role and that could give people the wrong idea about the film. Mike Judge has a small and average cameo.

My favourite scene is the one where Peter and his buddies absolutely destroy a regularly malfunctioning piece of equipment from the office using a baseball bat. It isn’t quite as sharp as “King of the Hill” (I’m still waiting to see a big screen transition of that show) and I don’t like the overuse of gangster rap but it is definitely an improvement of Judge’s film featuring Beavis and Butt-Head. “Office Space” reminded me of “Clerks” as both are done in the same tone but where that movie failed to go anywhere, this one does; I just wanted more of it.

Based on the book the same name by John Steinbeck, “Of Mice And Men” is perhaps a perfect adaptation of the book as both left me underwhelmed. I get the subtle messages and the themes but for me, neither conveys them particularly well.

In “Of Mice And Men”, two friends, George (Gary Sinise “Forrest Gump”, “Apollo 13”) and Lennie (John Malkovich “In The Line of Fire”, “Being John Malkovich”), are looking for work during the 1930s depression. They find work on a ranch but Lennie’s mental handicap gets him into some deep trouble and George may not be able to get him out of it.

Gary Sinise is quite dull as George to say the least and that’s a real shame but maybe the guy felt overworked seen as how he directed it as well. John Malkovich’s performance seems somewhat exaggerated and therefore becomes more amusing than anything else. The other characters feel very dull as well even though the cast includes Joe Morton (“Terminator 2: Judgement Day”). The issue is because the story is so focused on the characters so if you’re not interested in them then the film doesn’t really work and that’s a real shame. If it had better characters then maybe some of the messages would be conveyed a lot better.

I really like some of the underlying themes in this film but like I said, they’re just not done well and they feel somewhat hard to access when you met with a barrage of disappointing characters. It’s a real shame I can’t see this done justice in print or on screen because this really seems like a setup that could easily work as either. However, both seem so basic and it shrouds things because of this. If you liked the book then you’ll probably enjoy the film but otherwise skip it.

A spiritual sequel to “Road Trip”, “EuroTrip” is an outrageous teen sex comedy. Parts of the film are very amusing but there are also plenty of scenes that are just so disgusting. It’s all dumb and immature but a lot of it is very watchable and it kept my interest.

In “EuroTrip”, Scott Thomas (Scott Mechlowicz “Mean Creek”) has been left humiliated by his cheating girlfriend (Kristin Kreuk “Street Fighter: The Legend Of Chun-Li”). After mistakenly rejecting an online friend because he thought she was male, he decides to head to Berlin with his friends to find her. Along the way, the gang will get into lots of trouble all over Europe.

The main characters are surprisingly endearing for this type of film. Normally, teens in this most are so unlikeable but I actually wanted to see Scott succeed. The group encounter lots of whacky individuals including a vicious Manchester United fan (Vinnie Jones “Swordfish”), a German kid that likes imitating Hitler and a perverted man on a train. British filmgoers are likely to want to wait to the credits to see the brief appearance of Joanna Lumley (“Absolutely Fabulous: The Movie”). Matt Damon (“The Bourne Identity”) also has a hilarious cameo role as the frontman of a band singing “Scotty Doesn’t Know” about Scott’s love life.

“EuroTrip” clearly inspired several elements found in the horror movie “Hostel” such as the pervert on the train and a rather bleak depiction of Bratislava, Slovakia. “EuroTrip” features sex in a confession booth in the Vatican, an all-male nude beach, a torture brothel in Amsterdam and lots of other wild and unpleasant sights. If you like films such as “Borat” and the “Jackass” films then I’m sure you will love it but it was just a little too much for me. I cannot deny that I did laugh at many parts of it though.

Many people like spending their time debating which fictional character is superior to another fictional character. Quite often this is framed as a form of battle. People want to know who would win between Captain Kirk and Captain Picard or Spider-Man and Superman. The idea of putting two fictional characters from different series up against one another is nothing new. Although it lacks the ‘vs.’ word in the title, “Frankenstein Meets The Wolf Man” is probably the earliest example I can think of. However, why don’t we see more of these battles up on the big screen?

Versus films have not had the best track record. The two “Alien vs. Predator” films received a lot of criticism from fans while “Freddy vs. Jason” fared a little better. Later, we got “Batman v Superman” and it got horrendous reviews. This means that it’s not always a guarantee that doing a crossover with two franchises will guarantee a hit.

As important as it is to ensure that your film is a success, a lot versus films cannot happen due to legal reasons. If you want to see Green Lantern fight Ghost Rider then you have a problem because the two characters are owned by opposing companies (DC and Marvel). To get the companies to agree can be a nightmare, especially if one of the characters is from a significantly more profitable franchise.

Another reason is that it’s hard to have an elaborate versus film makes any sense. Lots of ideas of versus films exist purely in the minds of dedicated fans. Transferring these ideas to the actual screen could alienate more casual audiences with a nonsensical plot. Also, filmmakers have to be careful they don’t try to change the rules of the different franchises too much or they risk upsetting the fans. Many fans have already cited inconsistences with the size of the creatures in the original “King Kong vs. Godzilla” (King Kong’s size was increased substantially so that he could match Godzilla) and it looks likely that they will be mentioning it again with the remake due to come out.

For now, it seems like a lot of versus films simply won’t happen for a combination of the reasons above.