“Mystics In Bali” is a laughably absurd horror movie from Indonesia. It reminded me of the Japanese horror flick “House” as both films contain very silly and surreal imagery. “Mystics In Bali” has to be seen to be believed because it is just absolutely ridiculous from start to finish.

In this film, a young American woman (Ilona Agathe Bastian) travels to Bali to research Indonesian black magic. In her quest to understand the dark arts, she becomes the apprentice of a mysterious sorceress and finds herself powerless to fight against the forces of evil. It’s not long before the young woman’s head and internal organs are flying around the island and causing havoc.

The acting in “Mystics In Bali” is as over the top as possible. The sorceress has an even more entertaining cackle than the Wicked Witch of the West from “The Wizard Of Oz”. The characters in this film go through various transformations. It’s hilarious to see the American girl’s head go flying around with her organs dangling below. Also, characters get turned into weird pig monsters from time to time. The costumes are hilarious and they look almost as cheap as the alien invader in “Robot Monster”.

“Mystics In Bali” has wonderfully cheap special effects, a nonsensical story and some ridiculous action sequences. I cannot imagine anybody over the age of ten possibly being frightened by this movie but I can imagine many people laughing at it. It’s not a good movie in any conventional sense but like “Robot Monster”, “The Giant Claw” and “Night of the Ghouls”, it’s hard not to be entertained on some level. If this movie sounds like your sort of thing then I must recommend watching this and “House” as a double feature. By the end, I’m sure you will have had your fill of ridiculous cinema for the night.

“Mystic River” is a truly touching experience. It’s a movie that explores the social awkwardness surrounding death and how that can lead to suspicions and misery. Clint Eastwood (“Gran Torino”, “Unforgiven”) is in the director’s chair and he knows this isn’t a script that requires him and thus doesn’t act in it, which is a smart move.

In “Mystic River”, Jimmy Markum (Sean Penn “Gangster Squad”), Dave Boyle (Tim Robbins “The Shawshank Redemption”, “War of the Worlds”) and Sean Devine (Kevin Bacon “Tremors”, “Footloose”) were just kids when one of them was abducted and sexually abused for four days. They have since drifted apart. When one of them has their daughter murdered, they find themselves together again.

All three are terrific and all have given very different performances for very different characters. Sean Penn is clearly the hardened one and he conveys that brilliantly without ever seeming corny. I like how Tim Robbins plays his character as a little fragile but again, it isn’t overdone. Kevin Bacon is arguably my favourite as he plays the one who grew up somewhat normal, I guess. The uncomfortable silences between the characters are fantastic and while that’s normally a bad thing in movies, this time there is a point to it. Eli Wallach, who worked with Clint Eastwood in “The Good, The Bad and the Ugly”, appears so keep your eye out.

“Mystic River” sounds like it could just be silly and soppy but instead, it is moving. Eastwood may well be remembered for shooting up everybody without any fuss in “Dirty Harry” but his more recent pictures look at death in a more consequential manner. There are movies that claim to be showing the real world but very often the people don’t same real. “Mystic River” gets it spot on from the first frame. This is a movie I’ll have to make sure I see again.

I’m fairly familiar with the “Mystery Science Theatre 3000” show and I think it’s funny (I’ve also sadly seen a lot of the stuff they’ve reviewed). In this big screen version, they take a look at “This Island Earth” (which I’ve sadly seen). You’ll notice this is substantially shorter than any episode of the show and this is the only time you won’t see the entire movie.

After a reasonable spoof of a scene from “2001: A Space Odyssey”, Mike Nelson (Himself) and his robot buddies, who are stuck in space, are tasked by the nutty Doctor Forrester (Trace Beaulieu) with watching another horrible movie. This time, it’s “This Island Earth”. Why do they watch it? Well because Forrester will torture them if they don’t watch it. Mike and company then make wisecracks throughout the movie.

Acting isn’t the movie’s strong point, which is a little ironic as they often poke fun at the acting in various movies. The character Mike is alright. The robots are a little bland like Mike but I guess they are okay. Mike and his mechanical pals talk about really geeky stuff such as the flight simulator that was featured in Microsoft programs. Doctor Forrester is a little more interesting than Mike but that doesn’t mean too much.

Despite the fact it’s not exceptionally funny, “Mystery Science Theatre 3000: The Movie” does feature some quite funny gags every now and then. The humour varies, which is nice. The whole premise is practically every geek’s fantasy come true (yes that sadly includes me). You don’t have to know the show to see it either as everything is explained near the beginning. The show and the movie have helped shape my sense of humour. Now, I make wisecracks to the television and the radio just like the people in this show. If it can do that for me then I say give it a watch.

“My Scientology Movie” allows us to get some insight into the bizarre and scary world of Scientology. The style of this documentary is quite unusual and in a way, I found that a little distracting when you are already deal with a subject matter that is so strange.

BBC’s Louis Theroux tries his best to understand more about Scientology. Unable to actually get to properly speak to anybody still working within the cult, Theroux is forced to meeting with ex-members and also tries to hire actors to recreate alleged incidents of mistreatment within Scientology. Theroux is also faced with the hostilities of Scientologists that want to stop his project.

Louis Theroux does not interview politicians or celebrities, he instead interviews the freaks and misfits of society, ranging from racists to pornographers. He often remains quite calm as he tries to get his interviewees to relax but this unorthodox method for a serious journalist makes all the encounters even stranger than they otherwise would be. Marty Rathbun is a prominent ex-Scientologist and he helps Theroux but his help does not always seem appreciated as in one scene, Theroux appears quite rude to him. The whole thing with hiring actors to play individuals such as Scientology’s leader, David Miscavige, felt a weird route to go down.

Scientology is fascinating because it seems to behave so obviously like a cult and like a corrupt organisation. Scientology was of course invented by science-fiction writer L. Ron Hubbard and has many celebrity members including Tom Cruise (“Top Gun”) and John Travolta (“Broken Arrow”) but while much of this movie is interesting, it feels a little late. There is a great episode of “South Park” that shed a lot of light on the group and I have seen other documentaries on television that just seem to beat this film to the punch.

“My Neighbour Totoro” is the type of film that Hollywood would never make. It doesn’t really have a plot or a point; it’s just imaginative. It’s a charming Japanese anime film by Hayao Miyazaki (“Spirited Away”) that has some splendid visuals and is truly impressive in terms of its creativity.

In “My Neighbour Totoro”, two girls move with their father to rural Japan as they wait for their sick mother to get better. During that time, they discover a mystical and friendly creature, named Totoro. The creature doesn’t really do an awful lot but somehow manages to radiate a sense of comfort. I can’t quite explain what the girls and Totoro do.

The girls are okay. The Totoro character is quite frankly bizarre. He never speaks but instead resorts to making just a few sounds. He isn’t quite Winnie the Pooh but he offers that same style of warmth. The other bizarre creature in the film is a Catbus; it charges around rural Japan and creates some exquisite sights for the eyes. The designs of both Totoro and the Catbus are honestly amazing. They’re both innovative and original. However, the Catbus did at times remind me a little of the Cheshire Cat from “Alice In Wonderland”.

“My Neighbour Totoro” isn’t quite as engaging as I may have hoped but it is a truly refreshing kids’ film. It ditches the violence found in a lot of Japanese anime movies such as “Akira” but manages to retain the great visuals so it’s a good family film. I like how it doesn’t really have much of a point; it’s just a pleasant experience to sit through it. I wish there were more films like “My Neighbour Totoro”, films where we can just embrace imagination in a nice and soothing way. It’s nice every now and then to put aside the bad language, bloodshed and all that, which we so frequently are exposed to by films. Instead we can have something delightful such as the Catbus.

2020 has been a strange year for people across the globe. The Coronavirus pandemic and international lockdowns have had a substantial impact on life as we know it. However, the effects of the pandemic have not been felt in the same way in every place at the same time. China already claims to be going through its recovery stage and this of course has an impact on its entertainment industry.

The Coronavirus pandemic shut cinemas around the world but with Chinese cinemas now largely open, the Chinese people are seeing films in public once again. This is not the case in lots of parts of Europe as well as the United States where cinemas have been closed for most of the year. China was already on track to overtake the United States as the most lucrative place to release films within in the foreseeable future but now, China may overtake America in 2020.

This is not to say that this has been a good year for Chinese cinemas. In the early part of the year, their cinemas were shut. Some of the biggest films such as “Vanguard” with Jackie Chan had their release dates pushed back significantly. Also, with productions and global releases of many foreign films delayed, the Chinese will have largely been stuck with their own films.

The long-term implications of the Chinese market overtaking America’s may be significant for the film industry. In recent years, Hollywood has increasingly focused on ensuring that their films do well in China. Some have been critical of this approach, fearing potential censorship as foreign filmmakers seek approval from Chinese authorities. Others may welcome the increasingly international nature of film productions. Many Hollywood films are no longer created with America being the only major intended market. Whether you like it or not, it now appears inevitable that China will become the dominant cinema market.

Next time you see a trailer for the next big blockbuster movie, be aware that The Asylum are probably already planning their own low-budget knock-off.

Remember when “Snakes On A Plane” and “The Da Vinci Code” came out? The Asylum released “Snakes On A Train” and “The Da Vinci Treasure”. A year later when “Transformers” and “Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem” hit theatres, The Asylum responded with “Transmorphers” and “Alien vs. Hunter”.

It’s not just the big blockbusters, The Asylum has also tried to cash-in on the success of any film they think might possibly be a success. As a result, “High School Musical 3” got ‘Asylumised’ with “Sunday School Musical” and “Spring Breakers” had to compete with “Bikini Spring Break”.

The Asylum’s sins do not stop there as they have released several original films. The most famous (or infamous) of these is probably “Sharknado”. Actually, they have done a lot of shark films such as “Ice Sharks” and “Planet of the Sharks”.

The Asylum rush to release cheap rip-offs of big-budget films, most likely in the hopes that they will con unsuspecting consumers into thinking they are getting the real deal. How many grandparents have accidentally bought a film from The Asylum instead of the new hit movie that their grandchildren would not shut up about?

It seems there is no stopping The Asylum as they continue to rip-off your new favourite films with “Tomb Invader”, “Avengers Grimm: Time Wars” and “Triassic World”. That’s a gold star if you worked out which films those were copying (stealing) from.

There are plenty of self-indulgent movies out there including “Moonwalker” with Michael Jackson and “Sidekicks” with Chuck Norris. Many directors could even be accused of being self-indulgent, just look at the films of Woody Allen. However, Tommy Wiseau has set a new standard with “The Room”.

Often cited as one of the worst movies of all-time, “The Room” has developed a cult following since its release in 2003. Tommy Wiseau directed, wrote, produced and starred in this romantic drama about a love triangle. Wiseau plays a banker by the name of Johnny and he is in love with his fiancée, Lisa. However, she does not feel the same way about him. It sounds like a fairly typical romantic/drama but “The Room” contains writing that can only be described as laughable and performances that can only be viewed as not of this world.

Wiseau makes his character a saint-like guy that is nice to all the people in his life but always gets screwed by everybody else. Maybe we could even like Johnny if it were not for the appalling writing and cosmically bad performance from Wiseau.

During the making of the movie Wiseau was apparently a real handful for the cast and crew. At one point, he tackled one of the actors for speaking French. He also insisted that the movie contained nude shots of him despite crew members pleading with him to have the images cut.

However, the strangest part of this whole thing is Wiseau’s background. Nobody seems to know where he got his money from to produce this colossal failure. In fact, nobody even seems to know what country he is originally from. He is from somewhere in Europe but exactly where remains a mystery. Wiseau has done little since The Room and seems to have disappeared as mysteriously as he appeared.

While he has gained some attention for his collaborations with Quentin Tarantino, Eli Roth is still far from being a household name. Roth’s films tend to be fairly extreme.

He was responsible for “Cabin Fever”, a film about teens falling victim to a flesh-eating virus. He also directed “Hostel”, which focuses on the torture of a group of backpackers in Slovakia. More recently, Roth directed “Knock Knock”, where a man is seduced and tortured by two young women. Basically, the man seems to enjoy doing gross torture stuff but he went the extra mile with a movie called “The Green Inferno”.

The movie follows a group of student activists that travel to the Amazon to save the rainforest but end up coming into contact with a hostile group of natives that torture them. It may sound pretty similar to the other Roth movies but this one is different because Roth actually went to the jungle and filmed some real natives.

The Peruvian jungle natives had supposedly never been filmed or photographed by Westerners before. As they lived in the jungle with no television, they had no idea what a movie was so Roth introduced the tribe to cinema by showing them a gory exploitation picture from Italy, “Cannibal Holocaust”. The tribespeople apparently loved it and got onboard with the project. It seems awfully risky asking people that have no clue what a film is to only pretend to be torturing and murdering people. Even the notoriously crazy Mel Gibson used actors and actresses for “Apocalypto”.

During the making of the movie, Christian missionaries showed up on boats and were not aware that a film was being shot. They became quite alarmed when they saw all sorts of gory props such as skeletons and dead bodies impaled on stakes. This means that in making a film about some people getting scared by a jungle tribe, he actually managed to scare some people with a jungle tribe.

Okay, so if you are into bad movies then you have probably heard of Ed Wood. I still think most people will not know who he is. Often called the ‘worst director of all-time’ (although I can think of several worse ones), Ed Wood was certainly a crazy individual.

His big debut was with “Glen Or Glenda”, which was originally intended to be about a man that had a sex change. However, Ed Wood managed to make the film about his own transvestitism and cast himself in the lead role.

More impressively, he managed to get Béla Lugosi, the star of “Dracula”, involved in this mess. Wood idolised Lugosi and since Lugosi’s career had gone substantially downhill, he found himself appearing in several of Wood’s movies.

Wood is mostly known for his sci-fi monster movies, especially “Plan 9 From Outer Space”. The movie involves aliens resurrecting several of the dead to terrorise a small town. It was ridiculed for its terrible acting, cheap special effects and onscreen movie mistakes. However, Wood thought it was brilliant. Despite the fact the movie is filled with all sorts of mistakes, Wood was proud of his creation. There is something admirable about a man that pours all of his effort and affection into a project even when it turns out to be a monumental flop.

Wood also directed some other sci-fi movies such as “The Bride of the Monster” and “Night of the Ghouls”, which are almost as funny as “Plan 9 From Outer Space”. Wood’s passion for his work was the subject of a Tim Burton film starring Johnny Depp, simply titled “Ed Wood”.