I’d describe “Hot Shots” as like a circuit board with a loose wire as that loose wire is responsible for everything else being completely useless. This is a parody of the movie “Top Gun”, which I didn’t like very much so I wasn’t expect much from a movie that owes its existence to it.

In “Hot Shots”, Charlie Sheen (“Wall Street”) stars as a spoof of Tom Cruise’s character Maverick in “Top Gun” named Lt. Topper Harley. Harley is an unstable yet great fighter pilot, who was kicked out of the Navy but now they want him back to set him up so the government will be forced to buy new high-tech fighter jets.

Charlie Sheen is plain awful in this film as he is neither funny nor interesting; easily one of cinema’s worst performances even by parody film standards. Cary Elwes (“Saw”) stars as Harley’s fellow fighter pilot rival as the two squabble over Ramada (Valeria Golino “Rain Man”). Lloyd Bridges (“Airplane!”), Kevin Dunn (“Transformers”) and Jon Cryer (“Superman IV: The Quest for Peace”) all feature but nobody in this film is good in the slightest and sadly Cryer becomes the best actor in the movie.

With great parody films like “Airplane!”, “The Naked Gun” and even “Spaceballs” we don’t need “Hot Shots” but it’s better than some spoofs like “Disaster Movie” although not by much. “Hot Shots” doesn’t throw as many jokes as you at I expected as instead it recycles various ones throughout and drags on other for much longer than they can sustain for. There are a few half decent jokes in this picture but when I watched other spoofs like “Airplane!” I find much more laughs and plenty of good ones. “Hot Shots” is a waste of valuable time and effort; it’s a spoof best forgotten.

“Hot Fuzz” is a hilarious British comedy directed by Edgar Wright (“Baby Driver”) and starring Simon Pegg (“Star Trek Into Darkness”) and Nick Frost (“Cuban Fury”). This is the second in the trio’s so-called “Three Flavours Cornetto” trilogy. It’s a really great movie that reminded me of films such as “Airplane!” and the “Naked Gun” franchise because it overwhelms you with the number of jokes.

Nicholas Angel (Pegg) is a highly skilled London police officer with a record so impressive that he makes his fellow colleagues look bad. His superiors decide to reassign him to a village in Gloucestershire. It initially seems like a peaceful place but when residents start dying in suspicious circumstances, Angel and his new partner (Frost) realise that something very wrong is going on.

Simon Pegg and Nick Frost are very funny here. Pegg gets to play a policeman that is absolutely brilliant at his job while Frost plays an overweight officer that has spent more time with action films than dealing with any real action. I initially saw the two in “Paul”, which was a really dreadful comedy. I’m pleased to say that “Hot Fuzz” shows that the two can be very entertaining together. The rest of the cast includes Timothy Dalton (“Licence To Kill”), Martin Freeman (“Nativity!”), Bill Nighy (“Love Actually”), Bill Bailey (“Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy”), Jim Broadbent (“Moulin Rouge!”), Olivia Colman (“The Favourite”) and Steve Coogan (“Philomena”). Dalton is easily my favourite.

There are so many great gags in here that I cannot count them. The funniest thing about the film is that it looks very professional and like it was made with a big budget yet it involves a rural setting with insignificant incidents such as a missing swan. The action sequences are just absolutely hysterical because they look like a shootout you would see in a Hollywood movie. I also cannot finish without mentioning the hilarious part where Frost’s character finds DVDs of “Silent Rage” and “Supercop”. I never thought I’d see a film reference “Silent Rage” but there you go.

“Hot Dog… The Movie” is a sports comedy and pretty much the skiing equivalent of “Caddyshack”. It’s full of clichés, nudity and is very much in the same style as films such as “Animal House”, “Teen Wolf” and “Police Academy”.

In this highly goofy comedy, a young skier by the name of Harkin (Patrick Houser) is off to compete at the international level where he’s greeted by party animals and incredibly aggressive German skier, who currently holds the title. In-between the alcohol and sex-fuelled parties, Harkin must master his skiing skills to win the day and wipe the smile off the face of the arrogant competition.

The acting is pretty terrible here. There are no big stars in “Hot Dog… The Movie” so where comedies of a similar brand of humour such as “Stripes” and “Caddyshack” could rely on strong performances from famous faces, this film cannot. It’s not essential for the acting to be good in a film like this but the characters should at least be funny but unfortunately they’re not. I can’t really think of any that made me laugh; maybe that’s because they don’t really do a lot that would make you laugh. At least the rival skier makes for the sort-of rival you always get in sports films.

The film has some terrific skiing sequences and while it manages to avoid becoming as painful as the “Police Academy” films, it fails to capture what made films such as “Animal House” and “Caddyshack” so darn amusing. Also, I was a little disappointed that there was no montage, all the big sports movies such as “Rocky” and “The Karate Kid” have montages but “Hot Dog… The Movie” misses its chance to tick off arguably the most famous of clichés from its checklist. If you like skiing or really like comedies like the ones I’ve mentioned, you should check this picture out but otherwise I’d just stick with something else.

“Horse Feathers” is one of the better-known pictures that stars the Marx Brothers (“Duck Soup”, “Animal Crackers”) and it’s somewhat amusing but it’s far from being a comedic classic. I’m sure you will laugh at parts of it but other parts are a lot less satisfying.

Groucho Marx stars as a new head of Huxley University and he’s eager to improve the place’s football (American football that is) team but accidentally hires the moronic Pinky (Harpo Marx) and the slightly less moronic Baravelli (Chico Marx) instead of two actual football players. It’s all a big build-up to a final football game that involves banana peels, a horse and about every cheating tactic known to man.

I’ve said before and I’ll say it again, Groucho Marx is the only funny one. Every time he’s onscreen there is a passion and energy that you just absolutely fall in love with. He is so witty and comes out with some genuinely hilarious comments such as “You’ve got the brain of a four-year old boy and I bet he was glad to get rid of it” and “How much would you want to stand at the wrong end of a shooting gallery?”. Sadly, the film practically grinds to a halt every time that Harpo or Chico appear. Zeppo doesn’t provide any laughs but it’s important to remember that he never tries to be funny.

“Horse Feathers” is littered with one-liners but in-between many of the great one-liners, you have to endure quite a lot of mediocre slapstick. If you love the Marx Brothers and haven’t seen “Horse Feathers” then you should check it out. I’d say the film is about as good as “Duck Soup”, which is probably the most famous of the Marx Brothers films, and I’m aware that I may get some criticism from devout Marx Brothers fans but I don’t really care. If you don’t like any of the Marx Brothers (not even Groucho) then I’d give this one a miss.

“Hop” features some fantastic wacky environments and imaginative ideas but it’s too bad the script is absolutely terrible and the characters are lacking in common sense.

In “Hop”, we meet E.B. (Russell Brand “Despicable Me”), the Easter Bunny’s (Hugh Laurie “Stuart Little”) teenage son. He doesn’t want to be the Easter Bunny; E.B. wants to be a world-famous drummer. E.B. runs away and to L.A. where he meets Fred O’Hare (James Marsden “X-Men”, “Straw Dogs”). Meanwhile a certain chick named Carlos (Hank Azaria “Godzilla”) is out for the title of Easter Bunny. Fred decides he wants to be the new Easter Bunny but can he along with E.B. stop Carlos and save Easter.

James Marsden is alright as Fred; he could have been a lot worse. Despite the fact the actor is trying I feel the thing that ruins the character is the dialog he is given and the fact he’s in this movie. E.B. is voiced horribly by Russell Brand (who also sadly gets a live-action cameo). I hate it when E.B. makes jellybeans come out of his backside. Neither Hank Azaria nor Hugh Laurie can save this picture. The scenes with David Hasselhoff just feel like he’s paid them for advertising space. The rest of the characters were rubbish.

“Hop” is children’s film about Easter but it also feels like a big advert for both David Hasselhoff and the Playboy mansion. The film has good parts to it and I’m sure the factory on Easter Island will please young children but the film isn’t funny and any parent watching this with their child will be looking at their watch after twenty minutes or so. I wouldn’t be so surprised if the child asked about the duration of the picture as well. The humour is weak, the script is bad and the special effects aren’t impressive.

In another holiday movie, we find a sadly disappointing sequel in the form of “Home Alone 2: Lost In New York”.

After a huge family argument, like the first movie, we once again find Kevin McCallister (Macaulay Culkin “Home Alone”, “Richie Rich”) has been left to his own devices. However, this time in the ‘Big Apple’ New York City. Kevin uses his father’s credit card and various other devious schemes to stay in a fancy hotel and get first class treatment the whole way. Unfortunately, his fun is stopped by the blundering burglars from the first movie (Joe Pesci “Goodfellas”, Daniel Stern “City Slickers”), who coincidentally seem to be in the exact same area as Kevin.

Macaulay Culkin is reasonably good as Kevin. He’s very similar to how he was in the first movie. Although he’s nothing special, he gives a believable performance and seems to work well in the environment and nothing feels forced. Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern return as Harry and Marv. Like Culkin they’re very similar to how they were the last time round. They give decent performances and have some decent chemistry. Tim Curry (“Congo”, “Clue”) gives a good performance as the sneaky and curious hotel owner but sadly what he has to work with is extremely poor. There are also various famous faces including Rob Schneider (“Deuce Bigalow”, “Demolition Man”) and Donald Trump (“The Little Rascals”) but none of them are memorable in the slightest.

All-round “Home Alone 2” is a poor sequel that falls into the trap of being too predictable as it follows the same formula as “Home Alone”. Another sad thing is that the traps this time around are really stupid. Tell me when you last saw a kid move a hefty toolbox up a staircase or cut floorboards out. The first one gave us far more believable traps but this one is just too ridiculous and too predictable.

Inspired loosely by true events, “Holy Rollers” is an interesting drama film. It features great performance from the very talented Jesse Eisenberg (“Adventureland”, “The Social Network”), who sadly does not always get to be a film that suits his abilities. This movie gives us a great look into a strictly religious lifestyle and how easy it is to be pulled into the criminal world.

Set in 1998, we follow the life of Sam Gold (Eisenberg), a young Hasidic Jew in Brooklyn. He is devout and naïve but fears that his financial situation is preventing him from getting married. After speaking to his friend Yosef (Justin Bartha “Gigli”), he accepts a job to travel to Europe to pick up some ‘medicine’. Soon he realises that he has become a drug courier and his Jewish appearance allows him to slip through security.

Jesse Eisenberg does a really wonderfully job. We really get the sense that Sam is becoming increasingly torn between his religiously observant lifestyle and the secular criminal world. The conversations he has with his father (Mark Ivanir “Schindler’s List”) are sometimes very moving. The other cast members do a good job as well. However, the focus really is on Jesse Eisenberg.

Supposedly, Hasidic Jews from Brooklyn smuggled over a million ecstasy pills into the United States. They were able to do this because they looked so different from the security services’ drug courier profiles. As I mentioned earlier, the film gives us a great insight into the life of a young Orthodox Jew. In fact, “Holy Rollers” is so brimming with Jewish culture that it outdoes “Fiddler On The Roof” in that respect. It’s not incredible or anything like that but I really do not have any complaints about this film so I strongly recommend you check out “Holy Rollers”.

“Hollow Man” is by director Paul Verhoeven (“RoboCop”, “Starship Troopers”), who is no stranger to the sci-fi genre and doesn’t make his films take themselves too seriously but “Hollow Man” is definitely an exception.

In “Hollow Man”, a brilliant scientist named Sebastian Caine (Kevin Bacon “Tremors”, “The River Wild”) finds a way to make animals invisible and then restore their opaqueness; now he wants to try it on himself. He succeeds at making himself invisible but a problem occurs when trying to turn him back and Caine becomes an insane killer, forcing the team he works with to fight for their lives as they try and escape an underground lab. Like “Anaconda” it’s stupid but doesn’t realise it.

Kevin Bacon provides some humour but the problem is that the script doesn’t help him in anyway. At the start of the film, the character is promising but as it continues, he becomes more a more like a slasher villain. The visual effects for the invisible man are pretty good as you get to partially see him when he makes contact with water and other such things. The other scientists are quite boring, especially Elisabeth Shue (“The Karate Kid”), who gets way more screen-time than she really should.

“Hollow Man” is in no way an original movie, it’s another one where scientists screw up and then spend the rest of the film paying for their mistakes and the idea of an invisible person certainly isn’t original and this movie doesn’t really do anything new with the concept. The special effects are good, there are some good moments near the beginning and there is some tension near the end but aside from that the movie is disappointing. “Hollow Man” should be another clever sci-fi from a competent director but instead it joins the ranks with many other average-at-best movies of its premise (“Deep Blue Sea” is one that comes to mind).

“Holiday Inn” is one of those charming musicals that managed to put a smile on our faces. It is filled with some brilliant singing and some great kinetic energy that will perhaps isn’t the greatest form of entertainment but is certainly enjoyable.

Jim Hardy (Bing Crosby “White Christmas”, “L.A. Confidential”) opens up Holiday Inn, which is a place where people can go during public holidays to have a drink and see a show. Hardy meets a girl, who he wishes to marry, but his former musical colleague Ted Hanover (Fred Astaire “Top Hat”, “Funny Face”) is out to snatch her for his new dance partner, which creates an awkward love triangle.

Bing Crosby is a great singer and while some of the songs aren’t my cup of tea, especially the one about Abraham Lincoln he gives us the opportunity to hear “White Christmas” (a true Christmas song masterpiece). Fred Astaire can’t sing but he can dance magnificently, my favourite dance number was the one involving firecrackers because it’s just so fun and energetic. With brilliant singing from Crosby and excellent dancing from Astaire we get to see something truly great that wouldn’t have been nearly as good if it was one individual who could sing and dance very well.

“Holiday Inn” isn’t incredible as there are plenty of other films like it but it has a magical vibe to it, which just kept me content throughout the duration of the picture. The jokes are corny and the acting isn’t too great but that’s to be expected from a musical but for a musical it has it where it counts. If you’ve got good singing and good dancing then you’ve made it work as a musical. Don’t think of “Holiday Inn” as a Christmas film; just think of it as a darn good musical.

“Hobo With A Shotgun” is a movie with no morals as it shows us blood and guts just for the sake of showing blood and guts without anything clever neither to say nor show. This miserable flick was surprisingly spawned from one of the fake trailers in “Grindhouse” (then again this arguably was the weakest trailer).

Rutger Hauer (“Blade Runner”, “Batman Begins”) sadly finds himself in this movie as an unnamed hobo (credited as ‘Hobo’), who winds up in a horrible town filled with violent criminals and the film rams it down our throats how horrible they are with several unnecessarily disgusting scenes. He’s been pushed too far now and wages a one-man war against crime with a shotgun.

Rutger Hauer is a good actor and here he is given nothing interesting to say and nothing creative to do. I expected to see him shoot people but here there is nothing fun about it in the slightest and there is certainly nothing smart about it. The villains are really dull and their horribleness is oversold to us by the dozen. It doesn’t get to a point where it is ridiculous, it merely gets to a point where it becomes boring, tedious and just generally vile.

“Hobo With A Shotgun” is meant to be a comedy and although there are one or two things to snigger at such as the signs Hobo writes, it is just a dreadful picture; it lacks any comedic or artistic value. I’m still waiting for the trailer of “Werewolf Women of the SS” to be made into a film but sadly we’re stuck with this one. I’m glad I know the difference between smart violence in films such as “A Clockwork Orange”, fun violence such as “Army of Darkness” and the boring violence as in every dull slasher flick ever made; this film belongs in the category with the latter.