“Are You Lost?” (originally titled “Sounan Desu Ka?”) is a Japanese anime series with some very suggestive imagery. It’s very sexual but in an extremely juvenile way. It’s light-hearted and you may laugh at parts of it but you may also be shocked by how dirty some of it is.

A small group of female Japanese high school students find themselves trapped on a desert island. While three of the girls are completely out of their element, Homare has spent her youth learning survival skills. Homare and the other girls now try to make the best of their situation. However, things are not always easy.

Three of the girls are completely useless, ditsy and very submissive while Homare is like the female anime equivalent of Bear Grylls. She eats bugs and advocates drinking urine to fight dehydration. It’s sometimes quite amusing seeing Homare introduce the other girls into all the disgusting realities of trying to survive in an inhospitable environment. Some of it may go a little too far for many viewers though. There are frequent flashbacks to her time as a child where she learned skills from her father. I like the animation on the characters, everybody looks as vibrant as the tropical island they’re on.

I won’t go into any details but I’m sure you can imagine some of the inappropriate events that unfold during the run of this show. “Are You Lost?” is very colourful and looks fairly innocent at times but it’s got some really smutty content. It’s never malicious though; it does everything with a smile on its face. “Are You Lost?” knows it’s target audience but there really isn’t much substance to it. “High School DxD” also had a lot of absurd sexual content but it combined it with some exciting action and a somewhat interesting storyline.

A few years back, we got the disastrous “Unfriended”. It was a horror film that took place on a Skype call. With the Coronavirus pandemic and subsequent lockdowns in full swing during 2020, many were now using Zoom to chat to friends and colleagues. “Host” is therefore a horror film that takes place on Zoom. While you may admire people for getting creative during the challenges of lockdown, this is a devastatingly bad movie.

A group of friends decide to hold a séance over Zoom during lockdown. They hope this will just be a bit of fun but of course, things take a terrifying turn. Instead of just the tedium of a Zoom call, they’re forced to deal with supernatural threats.

The characters in this are mind-numbingly dull. Talking to real people over a video call software can be awkward due to the technical issues and just the fact that you’re not really in the same room as them. Seeing fictional people try to have a Zoom call is just unbearably boring. I don’t care about these people because they’re not doing anything more exciting than I am. I don’t know if the adults here are more or less annoying than the teens in “Unfriended”.

Like “Unfriended”, I had to turn this film off because it was just so obviously not going to captivate me. We live in an era of 4K video and terrific audio, “Host” tries to force us to endure watching pixelated video with dodgy audio. Overall, I think this is worse than “Unfriended” because this comes after that film so it’s not even original in concept to have a horror film take place over video call software. I hated the whole lockdown experience and I don’t want to be reminded of it with bland films like this. I know the lockdown was difficult for most people and some were just trying to be inventive by making things like this but I just absolutely hated what I saw of this.

Adam Sandler (“Billy Madison”, “Pixels”) managed to make a film so despised that it won every award at the Razzies. “Jack And Jill” is easily one of Sandler’s worst and it shows how creatively bankrupt he is.

Adam Sandler stars as advertising executive Jack. He’s about to have life turned upside-down when his loud and annoying twin sister, Jill (also played by Sandler), comes to visit. Jack is currently trying to get the legendary Al Pacino (“Scarface”) to star in a Dunkin’ Donuts ad and of course, Pacino falls in love with Jill. However, she’s not so enthusiastic about any relationship.

Seeing Adam Sandler in a film is usually bad enough but now we also have to see him in drag. Sandler does his usual annoying voice and toilet humour. What makes this film so shocking is all the famous faces he was able to agree to be in this movie. We have the usual “Saturday Night Live” gang such as Dana Carvey (“Wayne’s World”) and David Spade (“Tommy Boy”) but we also have Katie Holmes (“Batman Begins”), Al Pacino, Johnny Depp (“Ed Wood”), Regis Philbin, Shaquille O’Neal, John McEnroe and more. Pacino is actually really funny because he gives the same level of commitment as he did in great films such as “The Godfather”. Seeing such a talented actor give his all in such an awful film is surreal. There are also a bunch of twins at the beginning and end that I just find really unsettling.

“Jack And Jill” contains some of the most immature toilet humour, lots of racially insensitive gags and just the sight of Adam Sandler as a woman is rather terrifying. Jill often leaves sweat stains on her bed and in one scene, we see Al Pacino rub up against the sweat stains with joy on his face. What did Sandler offer you Pacino?

I did not care for the first part of “The Long Halloween” but this is even worse. Again, it just fails to capture what I like about Batman. It feels so much like “The Godfather” at times that the more typical Batman parts stick out like a sore thumb. There is also just way too much going on and it becomes hard to care about anything because nothing gets a suitable level of focus.

Catwoman rescues Batman (Jensen Ackles) as he has been under Poison Ivy’s control. Now, Batman must return to hunting the mysterious Holiday as the murders continue. Harvey Dent’s attempts to bring Gotham’s gangsters to justice leads to him being horribly disfigured. Batman will have to face his old friend, who has now become Two-Face.

This movie packs in the Batman villains. We have Scarecrow, Poison Ivy, The Joker and others. They feel so different to all the regular criminals that the whole film becomes very confused. The whole plotline with Dent becoming Two-Face feels so rushed as there are so many other things going on. The big reveal about the identity of the Holiday killer isn’t all that interesting. As mentioned with the first part, I don’t really like the animation on the characters.

A lot of people seemed to like the first part and will likely enjoy this conclusion. To me, this was one of the weaker DC animated films in recent years. I have enjoyed many of the animated “Batman” films such as “The Dark Knight Returns” but there have also been plenty of bad ones such as “The Killing Joke”. I hope to see more of the animated films but I just hope that they can start making some more coherent ones that don’t try to cram in too many characters and plot elements.

“All U Need Is Love” is a Chinese comedy about the Coronavirus pandemic. I predicted early on in the pandemic that we would soon be faced with many films about the pandemic but I didn’t expect a comedy film to come out so soon. Featuring an all-star cast, this was apparently made to raise funds for the Hong Kong film industry workers affected by the pandemic.

A luxurious hotel in Hong Kong faces strict quarantine measures after it is believed to be a source of a deadly virus. We follow the assorted guests as they struggle to deal with being trapped in the hotel. The guests want out and the staff are overworked but government authorities are keeping them locked inside.

If you’ve seen a lot of Hong Kong films from the last few decades, you may recognise some of the cast members. We have Eric Tsang from “Infernal Affairs”, Kent Cheng from the “Ip Man” sequels and Yuen Qiu from “Kung Fu Hustle”. Even if you’re not familiar with Hong Kong cinema, you’ll likely recognise Jackie Chan (“Rush Hour”). Sadly, Chan only appears for a matter of seconds. None of the characters in this film are funny or endearing. Everybody is just a bore to watch.

“All U Need Is Love” might be marginally fun for Chinese audiences but I can’t imagine anybody outside China getting any enjoyment from this. It’s a bad film and some people may even find it a bit distasteful to see a comedy film making fun of the pandemic while it’s still ongoing. The only reason to watch this one is if you’re like me and want to watch every Jackie Chan film out there. However, Chan appears so briefly that you could almost blink and miss him. I just hope that we don’t have to get too many more films about the Coronavirus pandemic because it’s been such a boring experience that I don’t want my entertainment to remind me of it.

The Asylum made countless “Sharknado” films where large storms bring hordes of hungry sharks. “Swim” deals with a smaller storm and just a single shark. This is a bad but forgettable film. There’s nothing noteworthy about it, this is just one of the most generic shark films to date.

In “Swim”, a family are hoping to have a fun holiday at a rental property by the beach. A storm and the shoddy condition of the property soon lead to it becoming a deadly trap as a vicious shark enters the area. Now, the family must struggle to survive and find a way to escape the underwater menace.

If you’ve seen any films from The Asylum before, you know that the acting is always awful. “Swim” is certainly no exception as nobody here gives a good performance. You just don’t care about any of the characters and wish the shark had just eaten them all quickly so the movie could have ended faster. The shark looks really unconvincing with some terrible C.G.I. at times. After all these years, you think they could at least manage to make a shark look acceptable. There’s nothing special about this shark, it’s not got multiple heads like in “2-Headed Shark Attack” or anything like that.

While I’ve certainly seen many worse films, it just feels like no effort went into this. There are worse shark films and there are definitely worse films from The Asylum but “Swim” feels about as lazy as you can get. To make a film like this after the “Sharknado” films show how creatively bankrupt The Asylum has become. There are so many shark films out there and to do one that brings nothing new to the table shows that you don’t deserve your audience and you don’t deserve your money.

“Kung Fury” is a short film that spoofs the absurdity of 80s movies. The problem is that there is just too darn much going on for a film that is only a half-hour long. It packs in so much that it never gives anything enough time for gags or references to really develop. It bombards you and with its fast-paced and synthetic visual style, it just overloads your senses.

In this film, ‘Kung Fury’ (David Sandberg) is a martial artist cop from Miami and he doesn’t like to play by the rules. He also doesn’t take too kindly to being partnered with a dinosaur cop. Kung Fury will have to travel back in time to kill Adolf Hitler and save the day.

The Kung Fury character combines the martial artist elements from every protagonist from a ninja film with the tough guy persona of the heroes of “Lethal Weapon” and “Die Hard”. He’s just a caricature and I just don’t find him funny. The same is true of all the characters. They may work in an internet skit lasting for a few minutes but they’re in this awkward experience that is too long for a mere sketch and too short for an actual film. David Hasselhoff lends his voice to a car’s computer system, in reference to “Knight Rider”.

“Kung Fury” is just a mess and it becomes pretty unbearable. I like a lot of the ideas here and I think there is even potential for a feature-length film. Unfortunately, it just drags on too long for the novelty of its insanity to last and it’s over far too soon for you to get to any understanding of what’s going on. A lot of people seem to love this short but to me, it’s just not entertaining in this form. However, it is obvious that the makers do love 80s pop culture.

2021’s “Candyman” is a not a remake but a reboot to the franchise (much like 2018’s “Halloween”). The original 90s horror flick was awful but this is just painful. Few horror films are as boring and uninspired as the new “Candyman”. The original was a rip-off of “A Nightmare On Elm Street” while this feels like a rip-off of “A Nightmare On Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge”.

“Candyman” follows Anthony McCoy (Yahya Abdul-Mateen II “Aquaman”). He’s an artist in Chicago that becomes obsessed with the legends of ‘Candyman’ (including the events of the original film). His perception of reality starts to collapse as the days go by.

Since this film follows on from the events of the older instalments, many be wondering if the original Candyman actor, Tony Todd appears. I don’t want to spoil anything but let’s just say that you might be a little disappointed with some of the creative choices. The characters in this movie are just absolutely terrible. The Candyman character has never been interesting and at this point, I’m just tired of seeing him. The other characters are just so darn annoying that I honestly just wanted Candyman to come in and slice them all so I wouldn’t have to hear their boring dialog.

“Candyman” tries to deal with complexities of issues such as racism, gentrification and poverty but it’s so badly written that it’s just a total chore to watch. The “Candyman” franchise should never have been a franchise. The first film was bad and it wasn’t even original. The sequels have just brought unneeded misery. The horror genre needs innovation and there are some innovators. Unfortunately, they are often drowned out by people resurrecting old ideas and bringing nothing new to the table. “Candyman” is just horrible on every possible level. This is lazy, unintelligent, self-indulgent and just a total waste of time.

While it isn’t awful, “Today You Die” is another dud from Steven Seagal (“Under Siege”, “Attrition”). This one is pretty darn lazy as it lifts footage from other films such as “Undisputed”. It even lifts footage from “The Order”, a film that starred Seagal’s rival, Jean-Claude Van Damme. Aside from the stolen footage, this is pretty unremarkable action flick.

Seagal stars as Harlan Banks, a professional thief that wants to leave his life of crime behind him. He gets what he thinks is a legitimate job but ends up being chased and apprehended by police. He’s thrown into jail. Now, he must escape and get revenge on those who wronged him.

Seagal gives his usual mediocre performance. During one scene, they cut to a shot from “Undisputed” and Seagal presumably transforms into Ving Rhames momentarily. The other characters are really forgettable (even by the standards of Seagal films). We have Anthony ‘Treach’ Criss (“Money Talks”, “Atlantic Rim”), who continues the trend of having rappers in Seagal films. The villains in this movie are just so bland and are just there for Seagal to slap around. You may recognise a goon played by Randy Couture, who would later appear in “The Expendables”.

“Today You Die” is not a terrible film, it’s just put together with so little care. The obvious use of footage from other films becomes quite distracting and so does the blatant use of stunt doubles during some of the fight scenes. If you’ve seen other Seagal films from the 2000s, you probably know what to expect. This one doesn’t try to break the mould or anything like that. If you’re a big Seagal fan then maybe you’ll get some enjoyment from this but for everybody else, this is just a generic action flick. I guess we’ll have to wait and see if Van Damme ever uses Seagal footage in his films.

“Ātman” represents arguably the most irresponsible filmmaking I have ever seen. Normally, my reviews are longer with clearer structure but this film defies a regular review. Never have I watched a film before that was so physically problematically and potentially dangerous to one’s health that I was forced to turn it off after mere seconds. This has nothing to do with the subject matter but instead, it relates to the film techniques used.

This experimental short film from Japan features a man in a mask the same as the one in “Onibaba”. The film then rapidly cuts between many different images of the man from different positions and may even cause people to have seizures (even if they don’t suffer from epilepsy). Just please do not try to watch this film because you may suffer medically for it.