While Michael Myers and the “Halloween” franchise have become synonymous with the horror genre, it’s fair to say that the movie series has not always been as entertaining as it should have been. Here’s my personal ranking of the “Halloween” films.

12. Halloween III: Season of the Witch

The “Halloween” franchise was intended to be an anthology film series but many fans were angered by the fact that Michael Myers did not appear in this one. Putting that aside, I still think that this is a really bad film. The annoying song will be stuck on your head for eternity.

11. Halloween II (2009)

Rob Zombie (“The Devil’s Rejects”) made one of the strangest mainstream horror films of all-time with “Halloween II”. Parts of it are brilliant but so much of it does not go together. What could have been a great film becomes a total disaster.

10. Halloween II

Since this was the first sequel, I had fairly high expectations. Unfortunately, “Halloween II” is as bland as you can get.

9. Halloween: Resurrection

The “Halloween” franchise goes to cyberspace. This film embodies the early 2000s horror industry. It’s a completely forgettable entry.

8. Halloween: The Curse Of Michael Myers

We discover that Michael Myers was secretly under the control of a cult the whole time. This is another bland entry in the franchise with the new revelations feeling pretty underwhelming.

7. Halloween Kills

A seriously disappointing follow-up to 2018’s “Halloween”. “Halloween Kills” turns Michael Myers into a superpowered villain able to take anything thrown at him. It’s just goofy and Jamie Lee Curtis (“True Lies”) gets nothing to do.

6. Halloween 5: The Revenge Of Michael Myers

This is the point where the franchise felt truly stale. There is little to no innovation here and it feels like the filmmakers were getting so lazy.

5. Halloween 4: The Return Of Michael Myers

After audiences were disappointed with the lack of Michael Myers in the third film, he was brought back here. Again, I just find this rather generic and unimpressive.

4. Halloween (2007)

Rob Zombie’s first time directing a “Halloween” film was a mixed bag. It brought some changes to the origins of Michael Myers but at other times, it stuck very closely to the original. While certainly nowhere near as convoluted and messy as its sequel, 2007’s “Halloween” feels uneven. I do like the casting of Malcolm McDowell (“A Clockwork Orange”) as Loomis though.

3. Halloween H20

While not exactly a good film, “Halloween H20” at least proved to be a fairly entertaining sequel. Jamie Lee Curtis was back and proving why her Laurie Strode is one of the smartest characters in horror film history.

2. Halloween (2018)

After four decades of underwhelming sequels, 2018’s “Halloween” went back to basics. While it’s certainly not without its flaws, this film made Michael Myers intimidating again.

1. Halloween

You just cannot beat the original “Halloween”. One of the most iconic horror films of all time, this is a terrific film from beginning to end. What makes it so effective after all these years is that it feels grounded in reality. Michael Myers feels like a legitimate and realistic threat here. The franchise would descend into the realm of ridiculousness. However, this first picture remains a classic.

“Shaolin Temple” was a monumental kung-fu movie. Not to be confused with the unrelated Shaw Brothers movie of the same name from 1976, 1982’s “Shaolin Temple” is cited as the first martial arts movie to be made in mainland China (many had already been made in Hong Kong) and the first movie to star Jet Li (“Fearless”, “The Expendables”).

In this film, Li stars as a Jue Yuan, a young man facing persecution at the hands of a sadistic military leader. He takes refuge with martial arts monks and learns their magnificent fighting skills. Despite the peaceful teachings of the monks, the young man is determined to avenge his father’s murder.

Li was already a big deal in the martial arts world and then this film helped make him an icon of Chinese cinema. It wouldn’t be until the late 90s that he would achieve more global recognition. However, this was a huge deal in China. Even though this is his first film, he manages to give a good performance. It’s not as serious as many of his later films so he’s very likeable here. Also, his fighting skills are legendary. Many of the other characters are not especially memorable and feel like the characters in countless other martial arts movies but that’s okay for a film like this.

“Shaolin Temple” may not have the most fascinating script or characters but that doesn’t really matter because the action sequences are terrific. The film looks better than a lot of kung-fu movies from the era too. Hong Kong was leading the way with countless martial arts movies in the 70s such as Bruce Lee’s “Fist Of Fury” and Jackie Chan’s “Drunken Master” so the mainland had a lot of catching up to do. There is no denying that “Shaolin Temple” remains a splendid martial arts movie after so many years and it’s worth checking out.

“Shaolin Soccer” is a ridiculous and undeniably fun sports comedy. The movie stars and was directed by Stephen Chow (“Kung Fu Hustle”, “Forbidden City Cop”), who is one of China’s most famous filmmakers. This is a picture that is completely unashamed of its goofiness.

Sing (Chow) is a shaolin warrior that wants everybody to study kung-fu. He finds a new opportunity to bring it to the masses when a retired football star (Man-Tat Ng) wants to coach a team. Sing recruits his old shaolin friends to form a team. Together, they use their incredible skills to progress through a tournament. Sing also hopes to win the heart of a young woman (Wei Zhao “Red Cliff”).

The characters in “Shaolin Soccer” are unsurprisingly quite simplistic but they are likeable. It’s pretty darn amusing them fire footballs and knocking each other into the air. Stephen Chow’s Sing has a heart of gold as he tries wooing a woman that suffers from bad skin and a low opinion of herself as he sees her inner beauty. Most of the characters perform stunts that defy all the laws of gravity. The special effects on them are not meant to be convincing but they are delightfully cartoony.

I enjoyed “Shaolin Soccer” a lot more than “Kung Fu Hustle” and I think that’s because it’s a much more straightforward film. It’s a little slow to start with but once the characters start doing kung-fu kicks with footballs, it’s very enjoyable. Some of the gags are really funny and I found myself chuckling throughout the duration of the picture. This is about as good as a movie about kung-fu football could be. If the premise sounds hilarious to you then you will probably like it. However, if the concept is putting you off then go and look elsewhere for your entertainment.

“Shaft” is a black exploitation film about a private detective. “Shaft” is a film that has some great music and a bit of style but unfortunately, it’s not enough to help win me over. It should be funnier, it should be slicker and it should be more entertaining.

In this film, we follow a tough private detective by the name of John Shaft (Richard Roundtree “Se7en”). Shaft is the black equivalent of a combination of Sam Spade from “The Maltese Falcon” and Harry Callaghan from “Dirty Harry” as he tries to rescue a gangster’s daughter. Shaft spends a great deal of his time just wandering around the streets. It may look somewhat stylish but it isn’t the most exciting stuff to watch when there is supposed to be a story involving gangsters and kidnapping.

Richard Roundtree is pretty entertaining as Shaft; I certainly like the confidence he shows. However, I would say that Shaft is far from being the most exciting detective onscreen; I prefer Sam Spade and Harry Callaghan. The other characters aren’t particularly interesting and nobody seems terribly enthusiastic. Actors walk in front of the camera, look very bored and then leave. Roundtree is definitely the only giving anything close to a good performance.

I like the music in “Shaft” a lot. The main theme is sung by Isaac Hayes and it’s great. I also like Roundtree’s performance despite the character not being anything too special. The film relies too heavily on the sales point of being just a black private detective film. I was disappointed by this film because it shows promise from time to time but it seems as if not enough energy went into it and certainly not enough ambition. I hear some of the sequels are a little more ambitious so maybe I’ll check them out at some point.

Confusingly, 2000’s “Shaft” is not a remake of the 1971 original but rather a sequel. The movie follows John Shaft (Samuel L. Jackson “Pulp Fiction”, “Deep Blue Sea”), who is the nephew of the John Shaft played by Richard Roundtree (“Shaft”, “Se7en”). I felt that the original movie was a bit boring but this one is so much better in pretty much every conceivable way.

Shaft is a New York cop that arrests Walter Wade Jr. (Christian Bale “American Psycho”, “Batman Begins”) for a racially motivated murder but he has friends in high places and flees the country while on bail. Two years later, Wade returns to New York and Shaft catches him but again the justice system fails when he is granted bail. Shaft ditches the badge and decides to become a private detective to catch Wade.

Samuel L. Jackson brings a lot of attitude and personality to the role of Shaft. He does a great job here. However, the one who steals the show is Christian Bale as the sociopathic Wade that thinks he can get away with anything. Jeffrey Wright (“Casino Royale”) is okay as Hispanic gangster Peoples Hernandez. Richard Roundtree has a little more than a cameo as the original Shaft.

The best thing about the original “Shaft” was the theme sung by Isaac Hayes and it’s again used here in this movie. Now, we have the great music along with a good plot, some strong performances and some entertaining action sequences. I honestly do not know why this movie is not more popular considering how revered the original “Shaft” is in some circles. This is a great cop movie that is worth checking out. It was also directed by John Singleton (“Boyz N The Hood”) and you can feel some of the serious conversations about race bleeding into this one.

I have come to the conclusion that it is pretty much anything goes at Troma. Their films are quite frankly ludicrous and I always feel like the people making them love what they are doing. “Sgt. Kabukiman N.Y.P.D.” is probably the craziest and most enjoyable film I have seen from them. It’s a whacky superhero comedy that feels like “RoboCop” meets “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles”.

A New York City cop (Rick Gianasi “The Occultist”) unintentionally inherits ancient Japanese powers that turn him into the kimono-wearing superhero Kabukiman. He is initially reluctant to accept his new powers but will need to master them if he is to stop the forces of evil from taking over the world.

Kabukiman dresses like a geisha mixed with a samurai and is able to fight crime using chopsticks, sushi and anything else you associate with Japan. He’s absolutely ridiculous and it’s lots of fun to watch him use all of his bizarre powers. In one scene, he even turns into a clown for no real reason. Rick Gianasi is very funny as Kabukiman. His mentor, who eventually also becomes his girlfriend, is Lotus and she is very funny too. The bad guys are not especially memorable but one of them turns into a monster at the end and the effects are cheesy but enjoyable. There is also a monkey butler. Watch the credits to see a list of people that did not act in the film (you read that right).

“Sgt. Kabukiman” is absurd from the moment it starts. The slapstick violence is genuinely amusing and there’s also shootouts and car chases. There’s also some nudity and drug use so be sure to keep kids away from it. I found many of the jokes to be very funny, I was entertained by the action and I just loved the ridiculous premise. I have to recommend “Sgt. Kabukiman” for anybody looking for a good laugh.

Based on the hit show I never watched, “Sgt. Bilko” isn’t a bad film. It certainly does have some funny moments. Unfortunately, it just doesn’t come close to living up to what it could have been.

Steve Martin (“Cheaper By The Dozen”) replaces Phil Silvers as Sergeant Bilko. When a flying tank demonstration goes horribly wrong, Bilko’s old nemesis, Major Thorn (Phil Hartman “Jingle All The Way”), uncovers that Bilko stole all the funding to run his base’s gambling and other activities. This means that the future of Fort Baxter is at risk so now Bilko and his goofy officers try con their way out of the situation.

Steve Martin is always quite funny but I constantly find him appearing in underwhelming films. Here I laughed at a lot of the things he did as Bilko but I just felt some of the material was a little weak. Dan Aykroyd (“Ghostbusters”) doesn’t get a big enough part as Colonel Hall as all he does is be the guy who is oblivious to Bilko’s scamming. I really wasn’t keen on the Major Thorn character, especially as Phil Hartman was playing him. I dislike the slyness of Hartman’s performance. The other characters weren’t that funny.

“Sgt. Bilko” has some really funny parts to it but it could have been so much more. I disliked the stupid flying helicopter as it just seemed the filmmakers had spent more time on creating the special effects for that than they did writing the material. I don’t know anything about the original programme so I can’t compare it but from what I’ve heard, the show was a bit better. This is sadly yet another unsuccessful film Steve Martin can add to his filmography, which is a real shame because the guy shows signs of real talent and it only makes you wish that someone would give him a great script.

The legendary “Seven Samurai” routinely gets mentioned as being an all-time classic. It had one heck of a reputation to live up to and I think it’s worthy of all the praise. Often cited as the best film from the masterful Akira Kurosawa (“Ran”, “Tokyo Story”) and also seen as arguably the best picture to be made in Japan, “Seven Samurai” is a true masterpiece. It has inspired countless imitators, most notably the Western movie “The Magnificent Seven”.

With their village designated a target by bandits, peasant farmers decided to enlist the help of samurai warriors to defend their homes and their lives. Seven ronin are recruited but it will be no easy task as they must prepare to face an enemy that outnumbers them.

The samurai characters are just fantastic. My favourites have to be the calm leader Kambei (Takashi Shimura “Ikiru”) and the unstable Kikuchiyo (Toshirô Mifune “Rashomon”). However, they are all very entertaining. I also like the complex nature of the characters. The village folk are not saintly by any means and we come to realise that they are perhaps just as flawed as the bandits that want to attack them. We see very little of the bandits and I like that because it helps you become more engaged with the perspective of the villagers and the samurai warriors.

“Seven Samurai” is a very long film but like “Gone With The Wind”, it’s completely worth it. The action scenes are very impressive for its time and there is actually a surprising amount of action in this movie with numerous battles as the samurai try to stop the bandits from destroying the village. The music is great, the story is interesting and some of the characters are amazing. Do not ignore it just because it’s a foreign film or because it’s in black and white.

“Senseless” is a movie that perfectly plays to the strengths of its star. Marlon Wayans disappointed me with “Scary Movie” and “Little Man”. However, I still somewhat liked his manic energy so “Senseless” is a film that is just perfect for him.

In this film, Darryl Witherspoon (Wayans) is a university student that wants to win a competition that will see him land a job as a junior analyst at a prestigious company. However, he has to beat his snooty rival (David Spade “Tommy Boy”). To earn some extra cash on the side, he agrees to be part of an experimental drug trial. Dr. Wheedon (Brad Dourif “Child’s Play”) provides the strange substance that enhances all of Darryl’s senses.

Marlon Wayans has found a script that suits him. He gets to put all that energy in and is actually really funny. David Spade can be irritating in films such as “Joe Dirt” but he’s good here because he can play the unlikeable rival. Matthew Lillard (“Scream”) is really bad though as Darryl’s roommate. I wish that Brad Dourif was in more of this film because he’s always fun to watch. Rip Torn (“Men In Black”) has a role here as part of the company offering the analyst job and he’s entertaining here.

“Senseless” is a funny movie with an engaging concept as it would be interesting to have all your senses heightened. The movie takes many predictable turns but it’s amusing enough to keep you interested. It’s no classic by any means but this is easily the best pure comedy any of the Wayans brothers have done since “In Living Colour” hit tv screens in the early 90s. If you’ve seen films such as “The Mask” and “Liar Liar” with Jim Carrey, you’ll know what sort of comedy to expect.

Uwe Boll (“BloodRayne”) directs “Seed”, a slasher movie that is lazy, vile, repulsive, ugly, unimaginative and without any merit. Boll likes to direct meaninglessly violent films and this is about as awful as you could get. The movie also features real footage of animals being tortured. Apparently, it’s to highlight the issue of animal abuse but it feels more like a poor excuse to show more sick imagery.

Depraved serial killer Max Seed (Will Sanderson) likes to kill men, women and children. For his terrible crime, he is put in the electric chair but when it fails to kill him, he’s buried alive. He escapes and now he’s out for revenge. He’ll not only kill the men that put him in the ground but their families too. Can this monster be stopped?

Seed is one of the least interesting slasher villains of all-time. He watches videos of animals getting tortured, he bashes people’s faces in and he even starves a baby to death. It’s just another cheap Jason Voorhees rip-off. I’m tired of seeing killers that are just a big guy in a mask. Where’s the next Norman Bates or Hannibal Lecter? The other characters are no better. You won’t care about anybody as you see them brutally tortured and killed.

“Seed” is about as sick as you can get. We have an unbearably dull sequence in here where Seed repeatedly hits a woman in the face until her head is on the verge of coming off. The special effects are never convincing and we don’t care about the characters so it’s just extreme violence for the sake of it. Who exactly is the audience for this type of movie? What entertainment value is there in seeing a fictional baby starved to death after seeing real footage of animals being sliced. Boll desperately seems to want to attract attention by always trying to cross a line. I wish he spent more time thinking about making a film enjoyable than trying to push the boundaries of taste.