“Samurai Cop” certainly is not a bad title for a movie but everything about this film is just terrible. It’s a boring mess with horrendous acting, shocking editing and a generic plot. Some people find this film to be amusing but I just found it to be incredibly dull. I’d rather watch “Ninja Terminator” three times in a row than sit through “Samurai Cop” again.

Joe Marshall (Matthew Karedas) is the ‘samurai cop’ from San Diego dispatched to help deal with Japanese gangsters in Los Angeles. He is joined by his partner Frank (Mark Frazer) as the two fight against the deadly drug trade of the city.

Joe Marshall is a complete bore. He’s got nothing on Harry Callahan, John McClane or Marion Cobretti. Marshall is a jerk womaniser that spends way too much of his time standing around his underpants. I don’t care about this guy at all. The main henchman is played by Robert Z’Dar from “Maniac Cop”. I wish I was watching “Maniac Cop” instead of this rubbish. The women in the movie have no personality and are just simply there for Marshall to sleep with them. The other characters are all awful as well. Nobody gives even a remotely decent performance in this film.

“Samurai Cop” is awful from a technical standpoint. For example, it has terrible continuity as Marshall’s hair keeps changing from a real mullet to a wig. The action sequences in this movie (if you can call them that) are some of the most pathetic ever put to film. There are so many things wrong with “Samurai Cop” that there is no point in listing all the picture’s flaws. There are amusingly bad movies out there and then there are movies that are so bad that they go beyond that… “Samurai Cop” is definitely in the latter camp.

“Salmon Fishing In The Yemen” is a British romantic-comedy but it isn’t very funny, it’s not particularly interesting. It’s a real shame because if it had done the same story from a different perspective, it could have been entertaining. Sadly, we get this well-intentioned movie that just isn’t very good.

We follow nature expert Alfred Jones (Ewan McGregor “Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace”, “Trainspotting”), who is convinced by consultant Harriet (Emily Blunt “Looper”, “The Adjustment Bureau”) to help a sheik’s vision of having salmon fishing in his home country of Yemen. It’s not a great story but it could have been made more interesting if they had showed how the sheik came up with this vision but instead, we get stuck with how Alfred and Harriet bond.

Both Alfred and Harriet are socially awkward characters but not in a fun and entertaining way. They are just dull in real-life way. We spend a lot of time with these characters and to be fair, I rather wish we didn’t. The other characters are relatively bland as well and the performances are uninspired too. I can safely say that I wasn’t very impressed with the cast/characters department in this movie.

This film is harmless but it’s just so unbelievably boring that I can’t honestly see who would want to watch it. Movies are usually about fascinating stories that help us expand our own imaginations but this type of film doesn’t have that kind of quality. This film is like that kind of person who is a very kind person but just isn’t aware that what they’re saying couldn’t be much uninteresting. If it is horrible weather outside and the only thing you can find on the television is this, I suggest you get a board game (preferably something such as “Monopoly” or some form of chess) instead. Also, many people thought this was a true story and some even booked fishing trips to Yemen. It’s a work of fiction.

If any horror movie is going to put you off from casual sex, it’s “It Follows”. Many view “It Follows” as one of the most innovative horror films in recent years and while I applaud elements of this picture, it does still feel an awful lot like “The Ring” or “The Grudge”.

In “It Follows”, Jay Height (Maika Monroe “Independence Day: Resurgence”) has sex and is now infected with a curse. Now, she is being stalked by a sinister entity that can appear as any person. Only she and the others infected with the curse can see the entity as he slowly but surely walks towards her wherever she goes.

My biggest problem with this film is the characters because they’re just not that interesting. They don’t really seem to make the most logical choices, which leads to them being in far more vulnerable position than they otherwise would be. The entity is somewhat interesting. I like how it is always following you and you don’t know exactly what’s it going to look like. However, the idea of a thing that stalks you as part of a curse feels very reminiscent of “The Ring”, “The Grudge”, “One Missed Call” and even “Insidious” had the old woman ghost getting closer to a young boy in every photo.

“It Follows” does undeniably have some tense moments that are quite effective. However, I don’t really think it does a very good job of explaining the rules. As the film progress, the entity seems to get smarter. If you travel on a train to get away, can the entity get on a train to chase you? If you fly to another country, can the entity sneak onto a plane heading your way? More interesting characters and better dialog may have helped to mask some of the issues the film fails to address.

“Krampus” is a great Christmas horror/comedy that reminded me a lot of “Gremlins”. This movie is funny, satirical, heart-warming, intense and entertaining all at the same time. It combines many of the best elements of Christmas movies with creative horror imagery. Director Michael Dougherty also did “Trick ‘r Treat”, this is a man that knows how to capture the spirit of different holidays.

In “Krampus”, Max (Emjay Anthony “Bad Moms”) is a young boy that becomes increasingly frustrated with his relatives during an especially dysfunctional Christmas. In a moment of anger and bitterness, he accidentally summons the demonic force of Krampus. Now, the family is trapped by the blizzard outside and an assortment of festive monsters are attacking them.

I really like the family in this movie because they’re believably dysfunctional. I particularly like Max. Max’s father is a little bland but the rest of the family members are fine. The Krampus character is a mythical European figure. He’s been portrayed in several films. The design of the creature here is great. He looks like a demon Santa. There are other monsters such as evil toys and the terrific killer gingerbread men. All the monsters in this movie look fantastic.

Like “Gremlins”, “Krampus” gets you into the festive spirit with its Christmas aesthetics but also contains enough dark imagery to make it an interesting horror viewing too. The film also has an animated flashback sequence that looks really good too. While it starts off a little slowly, once this thing gets going, it doesn’t really stop. It’s a fun ride that I think is actually good family viewing for the holidays. Like “Gremlins” and “Nightmare Before Christmas”, it’s never dark enough for it to be inappropriate for children. However, maybe keeps these films away from very young children. Also, I hear this is probably the best film to date to feature the Krampus character.

Ventriloquist comedian Jeff Dunham’s Achmed the Dead Terrorist stars in this animated flick. The whole gimmick of ventriloquism is that you can see the ventriloquist and you can see the puppet, the animated format removes the spectacle of it all. It’s amazing to me that any ventriloquist would allow his characters to be turned into a cartoon character.

Achmed (Dunham) is a moronic terrorist that dies during a failed bombing mission. Now, he’s just a skeleton in a turban. When he gets hit by a plane, he gets taken to America. He ends up in the most innocent suburban American town imaginable where he initially plots to carry out terrorist acts. However, he finds himself falling in love with America and its people.

The Achmed the Dead Terrorist is a brilliant character. I’ve seen many of Dunham’s specials and the scenes with Achmed are usually the best. This movie arguably gives the character more freedom as he can move fully without Dunham needing to operate him. However, I miss seeing the character brought to life by Dunham’s skills on stage. Still, the character is very funny here. The other characters are not so impressive. The animation is also pretty poor. This looks even worse than an episode of “Family Guy”.

“Achmed Saves America” definitely has some funny parts. People who like the humour of shows such as “South Park” will laugh at many of the gags here. However, the lacklustre animation is disappointing and there also is not really enough of a story to justify the length of this film. As much as I enjoyed some of it, I just kept thinking that I’d have much preferred watching a regular special with Dunham doing the ventriloquist act in front of a large audience. I’m a big Jeff Dunham fan but this sadly isn’t his best work.

I cannot even begin to explain the success of “Paranormal Activity”. It was one of the most profitable films ever made because it was so cheap to make but still made more than many blockbusters. It also achieved critical acclaim with many in the filmmaking industry adoring it too. However, I think it is honestly one of the dullest movies ever made. This genuinely looks like a movie that I or anybody I know could have made with a few friends over a weekend.

This is another found-footage film like “Blair Witch Project” and “Cloverfield” but this time, we’re stuck inside a typical American suburban home. A young couple find they’re being haunted and try to capture the proof on video. The events that unfold are so bland that I’d rather have sat through the dreadful “Amityville Horror” again.

The characters in this movie are appalling. They’re just so uninteresting and we’re stuck with them for the entire movie. I felt like I was being held hostage because there is no getting away from the horrendous main characters. If you’re hoping to see some creepy ghosts, you’re going to be so disappointed. It’s the same shtick as “Blair Witch Project”.

Virtually any ghost movie I’ve seen is more tolerable than this. “Poltergeist”, “Insidious”, “Amityville Horror”, “Thir13en Ghosts”, “Ghost Ship”, “The Conjuring” and “The Others” are all underwhelming movies but I’ll take any of them over this. “Paranormal Activity” is just a complete failure from beginning to end. It’s certainly not scary in the way that it was intended to be. I think even “Casper” is scarier than this disaster. I don’t get the appeal of the found-footage style and I certainly don’t get the appeal of this franchise. It’s insane to me to think that there are a ton of sequels to this.

“Undisputed 2: Last Man Standing” is the first direct-to-video sequel to “Undisputed”. With none of the original cast returning, expectations were probably pretty low but this is a good action movie that transforms the series from its boxing roots to a full martial arts movie. I did also notice that this movie was filmed using the same prison as the Jean-Claude Van Damme movie “In Hell”.

In this film, boxing champion George ‘Iceman’ Chambers (Michael Jai White “Spawn”, “Blood And Bone”) is in Russia for the filming of an advertisement when he’s framed for drug offences. He’s thrown into a tough Russian prison where the guards want him to be part of their organised fights. He initially refuses but soon finds that it might be the only way to secure his freedom.

George Chambers was originally played by Ving Rhames (“Pulp Fiction”). I think Jai White is better in the role though. He looks way more athletic than Rhames ever did. Scott Adkins (“Ninja”) plays Boyka, a violent inmate that is eager to prove his worth in the ring against Chambers. Adkins is great during the fight scenes. He would get to do more with the character in some of the later sequels. The other characters are decent; we have corrupt prison guards and various hardened inmates.

While “Undisputed 2” is very similar to Van Damme’s “In Hell”, I did still enjoy this movie. The action sequences here are pretty brutal and I like the work of both White and Adkins here. If you’re not someone that really cares for prison films or movies with bloodthirsty fistfights then definitely stay away from this movie and the whole franchise. While I think “Undisputed III: Redemption” is better with more elaborate choreography and more fighters, this is worth checking out for fans of martial arts movies.

Michael Jai White (“The Dark Knight”, “Spawn”) stars in “Blood And Bone”, a martial arts flick that just feels like way too many other movies. It’s all about underground fighting and it’s the stuff we have seen so many times before. We’ve seen this stuff most notably in Jean-Claude Van Damme films such as “A.W.O.L.: Absent Without Leave”.

In this film, Isaiah Bone (White) leaves prison and quickly gets into the underground fighting scene. With the fast-talking ‘Pinball’ (Dante Basco “Hook”) as his promoter, Bone quickly makes a name for himself. However, he isn’t fighting for money or glory, he has a very personal reason that motivates him. He seems unstoppable as he breaks the hardest men in the city.

Michael Jai White is clearly in phenomenal shape as he brutally destroys his opponents. My problem is that he’s just too good here. His fights are often over in seconds as he delivers devastating kicks and punches that send the other men to the floor. There’s just no real suspense during these fights. Jackie Chan (“Rush Hour”) and Van Damme often make themselves the underdogs and it usually makes the fights more compelling. Dante Basco is clearly having fun as Pinball. The other characters are pretty forgettable.

“Blood And Bone” has some impressive fight sequences but they’re far too short. I’d rather have fewer fights but have them last longer than a couple of hits. The rest of the movie just isn’t interesting enough to keep our attention. It’s a shame because White clearly has a lot of skill. He deserves a better script than this and he definitely deserves a better fight choreographer. I will admit though that this movie is still infinitely better than the abominable “Spawn” film he was in. If you’re a big fan of White then maybe check out “Blood And Bone” but don’t expect anything too great.

“Boyka: Undisputed” is the fourth entry in the “Undisputed” series. These films have some of the most brutal fight sequences ever featured in martial arts films. Unlike the previous films, this one does not take place in a prison. Aside from that though, it’s pretty much just more of the same. The fights are so darn good that we don’t mind the fact that the rest of the film isn’t so innovative.

Yuri Boyka (Scott Adkins “Ip Man 4: The Finale”, “Undisputed III: Redemption”) is now a free man after escaping prison in the last film. Now, he’s in Ukraine and he’s on his way to entering a big tournament but begins to question his faith and his whole life when he learns that he accidentally killed another fighter in his last match. He decides to head to Russia to make peace with the family of the man he killed. However, he finds he has to fight for the wife’s freedom from mobsters.

Scott Adkins continues to impress as Yuri Boyka. He really has created an engaging character that is way more complex than the characters in the vast majority of martial arts films. His Russian accent is great and his fighting skills are just phenomenal. The other fighters are impressive too. One of the fighters is just colossal and looks more like a monster than a man. The other characters are okay.

I think I liked “Undisputed III” a little better just because there was more variety with the fights because different fighters were using different styles. However, “Boyka” is a really good addition to the franchise. If you like intense martial arts action then you’re going to really enjoy seeing the violent and skilful fights that make this movie rather satisfying to watch. Scott Adkins really deserves more respect and the “Undisputed” sequels he’s done really deserved theatrical releases.

British zombie movie “28 Days Later” received a lot of praise upon its release. I saw it and thought it was just another zombie movie and I really am getting tired of these movies. They’re all just so interchangeable and disposable. This movie is directed by Danny Boyle (“Trainspotting”), who has done some good movies so it’s a shame that he’s not able to inject more life into this bland genre.

A group of animal rights activists free some primates from a research lab but they’re infected with a deadly virus. It spreads to humans and soon the United Kingdom is plunged into chaos. Jim (Cillian Murphy “Batman Begins”) wakes up after weeks in a coma to discover that the world as he knew it has changed. Now, he goes through the streets of London with zombies lurking in the shadows.

Like a lot of zombie movies, the characters are just not interesting. Cillian Murphy is a good actor but the material here is just lame. Naomie Harris (“Skyfall”) is so dull as Selena. Brendan Gleeson (“The Guard”) is easily my favourite of the survivors but he isn’t in nearly enough of this movie. Christopher Eccleston from tv’s “Doctor Who” is really disappointing as Maj. Henry West. The zombies here are not anything special.

“28 Days Later” has a few moments in it that are intense. Some of the shots of famous London areas being empty are daunting too. However, most of the movie is just really bland. It feels the same as the George A. Romero zombies films such as “Dawn of the Dead” as well as countless other zombies films. If you want an entertaining British zombie flick then you have to look to the more comedic “Shaun of the Dead” with Simon Pegg. That movie at least did some new and interesting things with the genre.