The Asylum turn their attention ripping off “Godzilla: King of the Monsters” with “Monster Island”. This is another really bad film from them with hilariously bad special effects. If you have seen any of the other monster films such as “King of the Lost World” or “Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus” then you know what to expect.

A team of specialists are investigating an area of the Pacific Ocean for mining purposes when they encounter a giant starfish-like monster. This is a ‘kaiju’ and it is a major threat to coastal communities. The mining team collaborate with the New Zealand navy in order to combat this colossal threat. However, the only thing that can beat a kaiju is another kaiju.

The monster looks absolutely awful. The special effects are disastrous throughout. The second kaiju that appears right near the end is a complete joke. The monsters here look so bad when compared to any giant monster in the “Godzilla” films. The acting in this movie is really appalling. The only entertaining performance comes from Eric Roberts (“Best of the Best”, “The Dark Knight”) as General Horne. I so wish he was in more of the film because he steals the show.

“Monster Island” is a really lousy film. The special effects are so terrible that the film looks worse than 1992’s “The Lawnmower Man”. I had to laugh when I saw a New Zealand submarine when in reality, New Zealand don’t have any. Even if you like giant monster movies, stay away from this mess. The only good thing here is the performance from Eric Roberts. The only reason you should watch this film is if you are out to watch every movie from The Asylum. It’s definitely not the worst thing they have done but it’s still pretty lame.

“Phantasm” has got to be one of the silliest horror movies I’ve ever seen. By any normal standards, this is a terrible movie but it is so over the top and laughable that it does at least have some comedic value… just not enough to save it.

The mysterious grave robber, known only as the ‘Tall Man’ (Angus Scrimm “I Sell The Dead”), is busy collecting bodies when he’s spotted by a young boy by the name of Mike (A. Michael Baldwin). Mike and his older brother must try and stop the Tall Man before he kills more people and steals their dead bodies for a sinister plot involving another planet/dimension.

The characters are very goofy and they are played more like characters in a parody of horror movies. The teens in this movie have no class as they make out in a cemetery of all places. The Tall Man is the “Phantasm” franchise’s equivalent of Michael Myers from “Halloween” and Leatherface from “Texas Chainsaw Massacre” but instead of using a conventional weapon, he uses a metal sphere. The sphere uses an array of deadly instruments as it hooks onto a man’s face and then a drill emerges, which goes right through the man’s face in what is definitely the most iconic and creative scene in the movie.

The metal sphere scene goes over the top on the gore and looks about as fake as possible and another amusing scene features a giant fly-like creature that attacks Mike and his brother. “Phantasm” doesn’t really have much of a plot and ends with one of those clichéd horror movie endings that renders the events of the whole film as meaningless but unlike “Friday The 13th” or “Texas Chainsaw Massacre”, you might get a few chuckles out of this film. “Phantasm” has gained a cult following over the years but I doubt I’ll hear anybody mention the Tall Man when discussing all-time great horror movie villains.

If you thought “China Salesman” represented the height of ridiculous propaganda in Chinese action films then you simply have to see “Operation Red Sea”. This thrilling war film is clearly meant to be China’s answer to “Black Hawk Down”. The action is non-stop and very exciting but the clumsy politics just make it hilarious.

This is a seriously exaggerated depiction of the evacuation of Chinese civilians at the start of the Yemeni Civil War. After a successful mission against Somali pirates, the Chinese navy are sent to the fictional nation of Yewaire (clearly meant to be Yemen). Unrest and violence by terrorist groups forces the Chinese forces to rescue its citizens and foil a dangerous plot by terrorists.

As with a lot of war movies, we don’t get to spend a lot of time with individual characters because it’s trying to juggle between so many different soldiers. I thought most of the characters were pretty good considering how little we see of them individually. There is so much shooting going on so it’s impressive how the filmmakers manage to make the characters endearing. The terrorists seem to be like al-Qaeda or ISIS and while those groups have a presence in Yemen, it doesn’t make any sense. The main enemy combatant was Houthi rebel groups.

The action sequences in this movie are so explosive and over-the-top that you have to see them to believe them. The violence in this movie is incredible as we see people get their limbs blown off, charred remains and so many people shot and stabbed to death. However, you can’t help but laugh when you realise that none of these battles took place in reality. The film ends with Chinese ships standing their ground against American military vessels in the South China Sea. The whole movie is so overly patriotic that it feels like the Chinese “The Delta Force” or “Navy Seals”. This is a brilliant war film but don’t expect it to follow the facts of the early stages of the conflict in Yemen.

“Perfect Blue” received rave reviews from critics and audiences alike but I think it’s one of the worst anime films I’ve seen. I don’t even know why it is an animated film because there’s nothing in here that could not be done in live-action. This psychological thriller is as sleazy and unpleasant as you can get; it’s like “Silence of the Lambs”, “Cape Fear” and “Showgirls” all rolled into one.

Japanese celebrity Mima quits the pop music business as she hopes to make it an actress. Her sense of reality begins to weaken when she is stalked by a sinister fan and she is consistently confronted by visions of herself as a pop singer.

The characters in this movie are not interesting. I did not care about Mima at all and in a movie such as this, you really need to be invested in the main character. The creepy male fan is the just so over-the-top; he has weird eyes, jagged teeth, greasy hair and his room covered in photos of Mima. The other characters are pretty awful too. The characters look pretty bad when you compare it to other anime films such as “Akira”, “Ghost In The Shell” and anything Studio Ghibli has done.

I must warn people that “Perfect Blue” is definitely not a film for children. I found the violence and nudity throughout to be very graphic and there are some mature themes such as stalking, rape and mental illness covered. The animation is lousy, the characters are boring, the violent and sexual imagery comes across as perverse and it takes so many twists and turns that it loses all sense of direction. I just hated this movie and I do not get why it is so popular. Watch “Akira”, “Ghost In The Shell”, “Spirited Away” or heck, even the “Pokémon” film I saw was better than this.

Tim Burton (“Batman”, “Beetlejuice”) had his first big breakthrough with “Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure”. This was also the big breakthrough for comedian Paul Reubens and his Pee-Wee Herman character. It is a vibrantly coloured film done with a cheeky innocence.

Pee-Wee Herman (Reubens) is an over the top man-child, who lives amongst novelty items and other great toys and gizmos. One day, he has his pride and joy taken away when his bike has been stolen. Now, Pee-Wee will go to any lengths to get it back and near the end, we get a chase scene where Santa Claus and Godzilla are in the same shot.

With his obsessive and eccentric personality Pee-Wee would be a serial killer or mental patient in a more mature film but this is a children’s film so he’s the likeable protagonist. He’s so goofy, wimpy and obnoxious that you have to just laugh at him. Some of the characters he meets on his journey to find his bike aren’t amazing but do provide a few memorable moments. Large Marge is probably the most memorable one besides Pee-Wee. If anything, the problem is that there aren’t a few more of these people for him to meet. James Brolin (“The Amityville Horror”) is quite funny starring as a macho version of Pee-Wee near the end.

“Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure” is such a strange and cheerful film that you have to admire it. Unlike Burton’s more recent work, which makes you feel depressed, this one makes you happy. After this, Burton went onto direct the best movie version of “Batman” to date and Reubens would use the Pee-Wee character in a children’s show so this film really allowed the two to go off and build upon what they did here. It’s a funny film that lacks a lot of clever jokes but it is sure to put a smile on the faces of children and grown-ups alike.

“Payback” is a movie that should be a lot more fun than it is. I found it to be a film that wanted me to laugh but I found it too bleak to do that.

In “Payback”, Mel Gibson (“Forever Young”, “Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome”) stars as an armed robber by the name of Porter. This is a guy that has been shot and left to die by his wife and his best friend (Gregg Henry “Slither”). It is then the violent and depressing tale of how Porter executes his revenge. There’s a scene where he’s beating a worthless drug dealer and it should be funny but the violence is too realistic and another involves a sex dungeon. Again, it should be funny but it comes across as disturbing.

Mel Gibson plays it well but the film itself can’t get the tone right. I laughed during the opening scene where Gibson steals money from a beggar claiming to have been injured in Vietnam, the guy then stands up to get his money back but Gibson informs him he’s been cured and shoves him aside. The rest of the film though doesn’t support Gibson’s performance. The other characters include abusive individuals such as Pearl played by Lucy Liu (“Charlie’s Angels”) but all of them come across as too real. The only other one who works is the one played by James Coburn (“Hudson Hawk”).

“Payback” is a film where the colour has been tweaked with so it looks dull and ugly and that maybe one of the key reasons why this film doesn’t work. The film is done with slickness and it has the right amount of action but it takes the wrong route when getting from point A to point B. Gibson has done action films before and they’ve worked but “Payback” is an occasion when it doesn’t work.

“Pay The Ghost” is another ghost film that blends in with other recent movies about poltergeists such as “Dark Water”, “The Ring”, “The Woman In Black” and “The Conjuring”. The only thing that this one really has going for it is that it stars Nicolas Cage (“Con Air”, “Leaving Las Vegas”), who is able to make this horror flick tolerable.

A year after the disappearance of his son at Halloween carnival, Mike Lawford (Cage) begins seeing visions of his missing child. Convinced that his son is somehow still alive, he is determined to find him. He uncovers a dark chapter in New York’s history as he tries to understand the supernatural entity that ruined his family.

Nicolas Cage is really good as Mike Lawford and he helps raise the quality of this relatively dull movie. The ghost is not very impressive and reminded me a lot of the one from “The Woman In Black”. The ghost usually appears during stupid jump scares, which we all know is one of the cheapest tricks horror films utilise. The other characters are not remotely interesting. The old blind man in particular is just dreadfully boring. I also found the scene with the medium to be quite disappointing.

“Pay The Ghost” is actually not that bad if you are a fan of films about ghosts. I normally find them rather tedious and not very scary but I know that there is obviously an audience for them because they keep churning them out. Fans of Nicolas Cage may appreciate his presence here but this is certainly not one of his most exciting performances because the script is fairly mundane. I’m getting quite bored of all these ghost movies because they seem to be getting less and less creative and therefore, they are becoming a lot less interesting.

“Paul” is a lot like the terrible film “Ted” but it swaps out the talking bear for a short alien and somehow manages to be even worse. I am truly surprised at just how bad “Paul” is at times. You get a sense that the filmmakers have a love for sci-fi but why that love was held back during the majority of the picture is something I don’t know the answer to.

In “Paul”, a vulgar and horrible looking alien, named Paul (voiced by Seth Rogen “Pineapple Express”, “The Green Hornet”), escapes a top-secret government base. He then gets help from two British sci-fi tv and comic nerds, named Graeme and Clive (Simon Pegg “Star Trek”, Nick Frost “Shaun of the Dead”).

I really dislike the characters in this film as they all pointless say countless swear words. Graeme and Clive are some of the most unremarkable buddies found in movies. Their love for geeky stuff is never truly displayed. The Paul character is a vile looking alien who misses the physical charm of E.T. and doesn’t even look as pleasant as Ted. I really had a hard time finding anything amusing about these main characters. The only half-decent character was the one played by Sigourney Weaver (“Ghostbusters”, “Working Girl”) as they squeezed in the “Aliens” gag (that’s probably the only funny joke in the movie).

“Paul” is yet another film which tests how many bad words filmmakers can fit into a film without getting the top rating. There isn’t any tasteful humour here as the majority of it is just demeaning people because of their sexuality or religious beliefs. Like “Ted”, I don’t get what the positive buzz was about. I don’t like gross comedies such as the “Austin Powers” films, “Me, Myself And Irene”) and this is another film I can put in the same league. I will end my review by saying that “Paul” is a seriously bad comedy which never demonstrates the love for sci-fi that it should and ultimately becomes one of the worst films I’ve ever seen.

“Paul, Apostle Of Christ” is a thought-provoking religious film that shows how the book of “Acts” and many of the letters in “The New Testament” were written. It manages to convey the harrowing struggles faced by the early Christians while still being an entertaining film.

Set in Rome in 67 A.D., we find that Paul (James Faulkner “Atomic Blonde”) has been imprisoned and wrongfully accused of causing terrible fires that have swept across the city. As Emperor Nero tightens his grip on Rome by persecuting the Christians and any other enemies, Luke (Jim Caviezel “The Passion of the Christ”) visits Paul with the intention of documenting his mentor’s transition from oppressor to believer.

Paul is one of the most interesting figures in Christianity because when he Saul of Tarsus, he oppressed the early worshippers of Christ. However, he converted after an encounter with God on the road to Damascus. I think James Faulkner does a commendable job. Jim Caviezel is also really good as Luke. I also particularly like Olivier Martinez (“Unfaithful”), who plays Mauritius. He runs the prison where Paul is kept but finds himself becoming sympathetic to the Christian cause and even finds himself forced to turn to the Christians when his daughter’s sickness worsens. The other characters are okay.

It’s not as thrilling as “Gladiator” or “Exodus: Gods And King” but “Paul, Apostle Of Christ” does seem to do its own thing rather effectively. Many may like the fact that it sticks a lot closer to the scripture and the history than some other recent biblical epics such as “Noah”. This is a great film for Christians to help them visualise the challenges faced by Christianity in its infancy but I also think that is an entertaining enough film for non-Christians to get some enjoyment from it. You might even find something that makes you reflect on your beliefs.

I’m sure “Patriots Day” was made with the best intentions but it comes across as the perfect advert for wannabe terrorists. Instead of engaging with the heroism of law enforcement as they pursued the men behind the Boston Marathon bombing in 2013, we feel as though we’re informed that we can grab a buddy, make a few explosives and hold a whole city captive.

“Patriots Day” tries to capture the terrifying events that happened in Boston in 2013 when Muslim terrorists placed explosives at the finish line of a marathon. The movie continues by following law enforcement in the attempts to capture the men responsible before they can take more lives.

Mark Wahlberg (“Lone Survivor”, “Ted”) stars as a police officer named Tommy Saunders and he does a decent job. There are some other big names in here such as John Goodman (“Barton Fink”), J.K. Simmons (“Spider-Man”) and Kevin Bacon (“Mystic River”) and they all do a good job. The terrorists are played by Alex Wolff (“The Sitter”) and Themo Melikidze and they’re okay but it’s the way the characters are written they I have a problem with. These guys are shown to be very successful in holding Boston to standstill with very limited resources and it made me feel very uncomfortable.

This movie unsettled because it showed that the authorities aren’t always right behind the terrorist suspects and there is one scene in particular showing one of the terrorists’ wives refusing to answer any questions, showing that she too has the power to create further panic and misery. The movie may be reflective of reality but I don’t think a film should exploit such a terrifying reality. “Patriots Day” is technically very well made but I really did not like the fact that I was watching a movie where I got the feeling that this will be the sort-of film that appeals to the jihadists of tomorrow.