This is the second movie based on the Tom Clancy books about the character of C.I.A. analyst Jack Ryan and is a sequel to the classic movie “The Hunt For Red October”. “Patriot Games” is not a bad movie by any means but sadly, it just doesn’t do anything very well and that is its downfall.

In “Patriot Games”, Jack Ryan (Harrison Ford “Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark”) is now retired and is living life with his family and while on holiday in London, stops an I.R.A. assassination attempt on Lord Holmes (James Fox “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory”). This makes Jack and his family a target for a rogue group of I.R.A. members, who seek vengeance after Jack killed one of them so Jack Ryan must go back into the C.I.A. to stop them.

Harrison Ford is reasonably good as Jack Ryan although he does seem a little too old. I definitely preferred Alec Baldwin in the role. Sean Bean (“GoldenEye”) is mediocre is the bad guy Sean Miller. James Earl Jones (“Star Wars”) is fantastic in this film and Samuel L. Jackson (“Jurassic Park”) is good. The rest of the cast is okay I guess.

From beginning to end “Patriot Games” stays at a neutral level as none of it is particularly good and none of it is particularly bad. This makes it quite a dull film to watch. One of my complaints and maybe it’s the book’s fault is that “The Hunt For Red October” was a war thriller yet this is an action movie and not a very good one at that. If you really like action movies or you love the book then this is not a bad choice but if you’re looking for a well-crafted experience like “The Hunt For Red October” then sadly you’re looking in the wrong place. All-round “Patriot Games” is not worth spending your time watching.

Most people think of “Full Metal Jacket” when they think of Stanley Kubrick and war films. However, we should not forget about “Paths Of Glory”. While perhaps not quite as mesmerising as “Full Metal Jacket”, this is still a harsh, disturbing and engaging war picture.

Set during WWI, a failed offensive by French soldiers leads to General Mireau (George Macready “Gilda”) accusing the men of cowardice. It is then decided that three soldiers will be selected and put to trial. These men face capital punishment if they are deemed guilty so they must rely on the defence of Colonel Dax (Kirk Douglas “20,000 Leagues Under The Sea”), the man that led the operation.

Kirk Douglas gives a terrific performance as Colonel Dax. This is a smart and understanding man that is often given impossible orders by senior officers that are often distanced from the frontlines. Dax remains rather calm throughout most of the movie but he gets one grand rant in towards the end of the picture. George Macready is also really good as a real scoundrel type that even tries to authorise artillery fire on his own men when he fears they may not be advancing on the enemy. The men being tried are played quite well.

“Paths Of Glory” is a great movie. The battle sequence is done very well and we get a feel for just how awful trench warfare was. The film’s focus on the courtroom over the battlefield makes it substantially different from many war pictures; the movie actually reminded me somewhat of “To Kill A Mockingbird”. “Paths Of Glory” is a powerful piece from a powerful director that must have been quite shocking back when it was first released. If you want a fantasy where the good guys just charge in and save the day then looks elsewhere because this is an honest depiction of warfare.

“Patch Adams” is one of the most irritating films I’ve seen in a long time. It claims to be based on the ‘true’ story of Doctor Hunter ‘Patch’ Adams but when any level thought is applied, it becomes increasingly clear that is a bunch of lies. This film should be ashamed of itself.

In this film, Robin Williams (“Flubber”, “Good Will Hunting”) stars as Patch Adams as we see him going from a self-committed, suicidal mental patient to a rule-breaking medical student. His unorthodox behaviour annoys some of his teachers and some of his fellow students, including a snobby by-the-books wannabe played by Philip Seymour Hoffman (“Doubt”, “The Master”).

Robin Williams is a terrific actor but his role here is horrid. Patch Adams is merely a simplistic clown, who takes no time for analysis. He just dives in and creates situations that could be fun but also could be offensive and physically troublesome for patients, not like the real success story. The other doctors are portrayed as fusty and totally uninterested in patients, nothing like real people. The patients all find basically jester-like activity highly beneficial regardless of mental and physical state, again nothing like real people. The film is shocking when it comes to taking such liberties with its characters.

If you’re going to make a soppy and brainless film like this then don’t claim it’s based on real events. The real Patch Adams has showcased his dislike of this movie and has criticised the fact it shows him stealing from hospitals when that never happened. Movies like this need to be intelligent if they are to gain the mind of someone such as me or anybody who isn’t heavily side-tracked by something else or below the mental age of seven. “Patch Adams” is a movie that has been made without a thought of the consequences; real people who weren’t paying a lot of attention are going to think people like the ‘hero’ of this film are inspirational.

“Passenger 57” is one of those really fun and goofy action films. It’s another clone of “Die Hard” like “The Rock”, “Executive Decision” and “Under Siege”. However, where those movies failed, this one manages to get it just right.

In “Passenger 57”, we see a notorious plane hijacker, named Charles Rane (Bruce Payne “Highlander: Endgame”, “Dungeons & Dragons”), being taken to his trial via a commercial flight (now that’s just stupid). Rane takes over the plane but unfortunately for him, head of airport security John Cutter (Wesley Snipes “Blade”, “Demolition Man”) is on this ride too. With no help, it’s up to Cutter to save the day.

Wesley Snipes is really entertaining. He has personality unlike a lot of action stars and we know he can successfully play both the good guy and the villain. I love some of the ridiculous one-liners he dishes out here. I really like the villain too as that’s what these clones of “Die Hard” have really been missing. The secret of “Die Hard” wasn’t the action (although that was a great part of it); it was the great hero and the dastardly enemy. The other characters aren’t particularly exciting but for this kind of movie the supporting characters don’t need to be entertaining.

“Passenger 57” is a quite entertaining, especially considering it is set on a plane (not the best place for action). Sure, it’s not perfect but with these kinds of movies they are usually just great mindless fun. This is a movie that just gets pushed aside with all the dud action movies of the era but it’s decent. It has some weak dialog and some dull characters but it’s the right length, it knows how long to stay on the plane and it’s got the correct amount of action so if you like these cheesy action flicks then this is your ticket for a fun film.

“Parker” is meant to be an action film. However, there is nowhere near enough action, it’s way too long and the filmmakers completely mess up the pace of the film. It stars Jason Statham (“The Transporter”, “Crank”), who maybe this generation’s closest thing to a real action hero.

In this film, a group of armed robbers successfully complete their job but one of them, named Parker (Statham), isn’t too keen on the next job. He is therefore betrayed by his associates and left for dead. Now he’s out to get revenge but the movie dances around and doesn’t have him do all that much.

Statham is good here. Well, as good as the film lets him be. This time, he delivers a few decent one-liners, which haven’t been his strong suit. The film’s real problem is a real-estate agent, named Leslie Rodgers (Jennifer Lopez “Gigli”, “Anaconda”), who doesn’t really serve any purpose whatsoever and is completely useless but somehow manages to get an awful lot of screen-time. Lopez isn’t even that bad but the role is worthless. Many of her scenes don’t even have anything to do with the rest of the film and thus merely provide the film with an unnecessary runtime. The villains are pretty unmemorable, which isn’t unusual for an action film but certainly isn’t beneficial.

“Parker” works in so many places and then it just stops for a ridiculous length of time. I don’t mind having a female character in this movie but she contributes nothing except for getting in the way both of our hero and in the way of us, the audience. I don’t hate “Parker” and if you’re a fan of Statham then it’s worth checking out. However, unlike the “Transporter” movies and some of his other work, “Parker” just doesn’t work as well as it should. Here’s hoping Statham’s next film gets its priorities right.

“South Park” have their first special with “The Pandemic Special”. The Coronavirus pandemic has obviously had a colossal impact on the world and perhaps no show needed to tackle it more than “South Park” did.

The residents of South Park grapple with the challenges faced as a result of the Coronavirus pandemic and subsequent social distancing and lockdown measures. Randy fears that he may actually be responsible for the transference of the Coronavirus between animals and humans after his trip to China in late 2019. Can the townsfolk find a way to escape the nightmare events of the pandemic by finding a cure?

It’s no surprise that Cartman is finding enjoyments in the effects of the pandemic. The idea of not leaving the house and not having to interact with anyone comes as a blessing to him. The other boys are more shaken by the situation. The whole idea of Randy being the one that started the whole thing is really funny. There is a ton of other characters in here as well including President Garrison. However, the focus is on Randy and the main boys. The animation is not any better than a regular episode from the more recent seasons.

“The Pandemic Special” comments on many issues related to the pandemic but also briefly touches on the racial tensions experienced in the U.S.A. after the shooting of an unarmed black man. A lot of the episode is really funny. However, it says pretty much everything about the pandemic that could be said. Until the global situation changes, I don’t see what else “South Park” can do. Everything is just dominated by the pandemic and issues related to it so what else is there to comment on? It cannot mock the same material again and again because it will just become tiresome.

You know a movie is bad when it was inspired by a throwaway gag in a Chris Rock (“Top Five”) movie. Like the “Ernest” series before it, the “Madea” franchise is rather tiresome and this Halloween instalment makes that very clear.

Madea (Tyler Perry “Diary Of A Mad Black Woman”, “Madea Goes To Jail”) finds her services called upon on Halloween night. Her great-niece is trying to sneak out to party with some fraternity boys so Madea must ensure that she stays safe. It’s a night of tricks and pranks with ghosts, clowns and zombies but Madea isn’t about to be outdone by some youths.

The Madea character is awful. It’s hard to believe how many movies the character has appeared in. The character is so one-dimensional. She’s an aggressive, foul-mouthed black lady and guess what? She’s played by a guy. We had an era of black guys in drag with “Norbit”, “Big Momma’s House” and “White Chicks” yet Perry’s character has managed to hang around a lot longer. The other characters are just absolutely horrendous. They have less personality than Madea. The fraternity boys are perhaps the blandest characters ever in a comedy film. Remember how good the guys were in “Animal House”? Well, imagine the opposite of them.

The plot in this film is non-existent. Nothing really happens and we just find ourselves trapped for what feels like an eternity with some of the worst characters in comedy film history. Also, this film makes poor use of its Halloween setting. It’s hardly consequential to the plot and this could have easily been about the young girl trying to sneak to a fraternity party on any day of the year. The only thing worth laughing at is the fact that there are suckers out there that will pay to see this.

It’s no secret that there are many movie franchises out there with more sequels than the masses really need. Here is a selection of franchises with just too many darn sequels.

10. Scary Movie – 5 Films (More With Spin-Offs)

Many see “Scary Movie” as a significant film in the parody genre. Its style of comedy became the one to copy for spoof films of the 2000s. With five entries in the main series, we also got a ton of spin-offs including “Epic Movie” and “Disaster Movie”. Most of these movies were so badly received that many felt the parody genre was dead.

9. Sharknado – 6 Films

The concept of sharks in a tornado is a hilarious one. However, the makers of this schlock managed to churn out six instalments.

8. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre – 8 Films

The idea was originally disturbing. Who would want to be stuck in the countryside while a lunatic with a chainsaw chases them? However, as the franchise has continued, the films have just got ridiculous. Try taking Leatherface seriously after you see him try to pleasure a girl by rubbing a chainsaw on her crotch.

7. Underworld – 5 Films

Like a really boring version of the “Resident Evil” films, “Underworld” sees Kate Beckinsale (“Click”) repeatedly squeeze into the tightest of catsuits to blast werewolves. It should be entertaining but it’s full of so much dull exposition that it’s almost unbearable.

6. Friday The 13th – 12 Films

If you wanted to see teens get butchered by a big guy in a hockey mask then the “Friday The 13th” franchise is the one for you. With a dozen entries to date, it’s almost inevitable that there will one day be a thirteenth one.

5. Madea – 12 Films

Tyler Perry clearly loves to be in drag because he has played his Madea character in a dozen films (including an animated one) as well as eleven stage plays. A completely one-dimensional character has been given way too much attention.

4. Police Academy – 7 Films

The “Police Academy” franchise has become synonymous with lousy comedy. We not only had seven films but two tv shows (one live-action and one animated). Even many devout fans recognise that the later entries were awful.

3. Ernest – 10 Films

Starring Jim Varney (“Toy Story”), the “Ernest” franchise sees the whacky Ernest P. Worrell get involved in lots of crazy situations. He’s saved Santa, been to jail, gone to Africa and even been a basketball player. His comedic appeal decreased as time went by with his brand of humour growing rather tiresome. The only thing that actually stopped the series was Varney’s death as he had been working on an entry about pirates.

2. The Amityville Horror – 10 Films (Official Series Only)

“The Amityville Horror” is allegedly based on a ‘true’ story about a haunted house. It has inspired ten films in the main series but there have also been a substantial number of other films such as “The Amityville Terror” that used the same formula. Even if haunted house films are your thing, I think we can all agree that this is one franchise that has overstayed its welcome.

1. Leprechaun – 8 Films

Starring Warwick Davis (“Willow”), the “Leprechaun” franchise focuses on a killer Irish mythical creature. The little chap has been to Las Vegas, Los Angeles and even outer space. How many times did we really need to see the goofy Leprechaun go on a murder spree?

Not to be confused with the game show of the same name, “Robot Wars” is a seriously bad sci-fi flick. The robots might look alright but everything else is so cheap and tacky that it makes this movie look and feel like a terrible episode of “Star Trek: The Next Generation” and even that seems to generous.

You might hope that a significant portion of this movie involves giant robots fighting one another but instead, the vast majority of the picture is about some significantly bland futuristic world that makes the universe of “Dune” look interesting. I couldn’t really explain the plot, it was just pretty nonsensical and you’re just sitting there waiting for the occasional shot of the robots.

The characters in this movie are unbelievably dull. I didn’t care about anybody in this movie and everybody was just a distraction from what I came to see, which is of course the robots. The robots themselves are not overly creative but the effects for them are surprisingly good in comparison to the awful look of the rest of the movie. It’s a shame that we don’t get to see a lot of them and they only really do anything in the final scene.

Few sci-fi movies are as mind-numbing to sit through as “Robot Wars”. At least “Alien 3” and “Ultraviolet” aren’t as boring to sit through as this film. The poster I saw for this movie saw two robots battling each other in the desert, the movie did deliver that image but boy did you have to wait for it and it wasn’t worth it. It is absolutely shocking that “Robot Wars” made it to theatres considering its short runtime and lousy special effects that make it comparable to 1990 version of “Captain America”. Those that whine about the “Star Wars” prequels have obviously never had to endure a sci-fi film as bad as “Robot Wars”.

“Jiu Jitsu” is a goofy yet enjoyable sci-fi/action flick that feels like a combination of “Predator” and “Mortal Kombat”. This very silly movie features Nicolas Cage (“Ghost Rider”, “Vampire’s Kiss”) and Tony Jaa (“Triple Threat”), two actors that I never expected to see together onscreen. Despite its name, nobody ever does any jiujitsu fighting.

In this movie, a group of ‘jiujitsu’ warriors are assembled every six years when a comet is seen. A gateway at a temple in Myanmar is opened and out comes Brax, a powerful alien. Now, the group must battle the extra-terrestrial hunter using all their fighting skills in epic battle to save mankind.

Cage has been used extensively in the marketing but it doesn’t show up for the first third of the movie. He’s really good here and makes this a really fun film to watch but don’t expect him to be the star. Tony Jaa also is not the star despite being featured prominently in promotional material. He’s obviously a very skilled fighter and one of the best guys in the modern martial arts film industry. The real star is Alain Moussi (“Kickboxer: Vengeance”) as Jake. He’s pretty forgettable. The alien is very similar to Predator with his cloaking technology and use of weapons. The martial arts on display is actually very good from pretty much everybody.

“Jiu Jitsu” combines the hunter alien from “Predator” with the whole plot involving a group of fighters defending Earth from “Mortal Kombat”. It’s silly and never pretends to be anything more than that. This was actually based on a comic book so some of the transitions use comic panels (a bit like “The Warriors” did). This is a funny and entertaining movie that has some hilariously dodgy camerawork at times. It seems to have received bad reviews but I don’t really know what people were expecting to see.