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Cradle 2 The Grave - 1 star

No, it’s not a sequel, just another movie thinking its ‘cool’. “Cradle 2 The Grave” is all about being ‘cool’ but at no point is it entertaining; the script and the acting have gone completely out the window.

In “Cradle 2 The Grave”, DMX (I’m sure that’s his way of not being held responsible for his appalling work) stars as a L.A. thief, whose daughter gets kidnapped by some really bad guys and he’s going to need the help of an Asian policeman played by Jet Li (“The One”, “Fist Of Legend”). The film consists of a few dull heists and not much else.

DMX is awful here; he’s about as likeable as the flu. Jet Li is a really good action star but here he isn’t given anything interesting to say and all the fight scenes and stunts are so badly edited that it seems needless to cast him. In some other films, Jet Li seems to have certain grace and toughness in his stride that left an impression, here he’s bland. The chemistry between the two is non-existent and they spend very little time onscreen together. Tom Arnold (“True Lies”), who at times borders on being funny and is probably the best thing here (yeah that’s the best praise I can give this). I won’t be remembering any of the villains anytime soon and hopefully not after that.

It’s not quite as insulting as “The One” but the film is definitely bad. The action sequences are horrible despite their briefness; in fact most of the film is just gangsters sat around, usually in clubs, listening to music so it feels less like an action movie and more like an Eminem music video. The needless rap, the poorly-edited fights and the weak characters are all things going against this film.

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