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Disturbia - 2 1/2 stars

“Disturbia” rehashes the premise of “Rear Window” and “The ‘Burbs” but sadly doesn’t have the charm of those movies. The movie wishes to be funny, romantic and scary and while I’ll admit that it is funny in places, the romantic elements are weak and the scares are non-existent.

A young teen by the name of Kale (Shia LaBeouf “Transformers”, “Eagle Eye”) is put under house arrest after assaulting his Spanish teacher. With his Xbox Live and iTunes subscriptions cancelled by his mother (Carrie-Anne Moss “The Matrix”), Kale gets his kicks from watching the neighbours. He soon comes to the realisation that one of his neighbours, Mr. Turner (David Morse “The Green Mile”), is a serial killer.

Shia LaBeouf is not exactly good here but he doesn’t provide a few laughs. There is a scene where Kale delivers an incredibly sappy romantic speech to Ashley (Sarah Roemer “The Grudge 2”), who is the attractive girl that’s just moved in next door. David Morse gives a truly cringeworthy performance as Mr. Turner. The character is ridiculous because he never seems to try and hide that he’s a serial killer. The other characters aren’t any more interesting than Kale or Turner and you’ll probably forget about them rather quickly.

There are funny scenes in this film such as one where Kale builds a tower out of Twinkies but as soon as the movie tries to be intense, it just comes across as cheesy. The performances are poor, the mystery is a no-brainer and the thrills are just too ridiculous to leave any meaningful impact. The movie would’ve been better had it just been about a teen coping with being under house arrest but then comes the whole plot about a killer next door and suddenly the movie goes downhill. I think most will want to skip “Disturbia”.

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