The “Hellraiser” franchise ran out of good ideas a long time ago but “Hellworld” demonstrates a real low as it moves the series into cyberspace. There seemed to be a real craze in the 2000s for horror films featuring the internet or videogames so we got “Halloween: Resurrection”, “Stay Alive” and this.

Videogame enthusiasts playing a MMORPG based on the “Hellraiser” mythology get invited to a party at a mansion for fans of the game. Soon, the line between myths and legends becomes blurred and the body count begins to rise. Like some of the other “Hellraiser” films, it makes no real sense so just don’t even bother trying to understand the plot.

Most of the characters are real dull and the performances are bad. Chelsea (Katheryn Winnick “The Dark Tower”) is okay. A young Henry Cavill (“Man Of Steel”) appears and he’s terrible. It’s really hard to care at all about what’s happening when I don’t have any interest in most of the characters. Lance Henriksen (“Aliens”, “Pumpkinhead”) is easily the best part of the whole movie but he doesn’t get enough time to shine. Doug Bradley (“Hellraiser”) is back one last time as Pinhead yet only appears for a few minutes.

I really was perplexed by the idea to have this film revolved around a MMORPG because we never even get to see any gameplay from it. It’s completely unnecessary, they may as well have made it a gathering of literature fans that read the original “Hellraiser” novel. Lance Henriksen and Doug Bradley are both good but don’t get anywhere near enough to do. The plot is all over the place and it’s just stupid beyond belief. The special effects are also rather unimpressive. Also, the filmmakers don’t make very good use of the mansion setting. Only devout fans of “Hellraiser” need check this one out.

“Hellraiser: Judgement” is a completely despicable film that is nothing more than an exercise in sadism, ugliness and excess. I found this film so repulsive artistically that I actually turned it off. I never abandon films but it was so clear that the makers of this had no interest in making something entertaining.

“Hellraiser: Judgement” has a minimalist plot involving police officer Sean Carter (Damon Carney “Logan”, “The Lone Ranger”) as he searches for a serial killer that is responsible for some of the grizzliest murders possible. What Carter will eventually find may be more horrifying than he could have imagined. What that means is an excuse for the filmmakers to be as disgusting and disgraceful as possible.

The acting is bad from pretty much everybody. Paul T. Taylor (“Sin City”, “Super”) plays Pinhead but he is no Doug Bradley (“Hellraiser”). There are various other horrible monsters including the Auditor and the Assessor. The Assessor is a fat man that vomits and drinks the tears of children. He’s probably the worst but they are all just vile but not remotely engaging. The Cenobites in the early films were gruesome but still fun to watch. Here, everyone and everything is just so unbelievably unpleasant.

In “Hellraiser: Judgement”, we find a woman with a dog sewn inside her, we see nude women splashed with blood, skin sliced off in graphic detail and so many other ugly sights. I know it seems odd to complain about the gore in a “Hellraiser” film but it feels so uninspired. There are many great films with lots of violence including horror films such as “Event Horizon” but this film is just unspeakably bad. It’s on par with some of the worst movies I’ve seen. Much like Hell itself, there is no morsel of hope to be found in “Hellraiser: Judgement”.

“Hellraiser: Revelations” marks the first entry in the “Hellraiser” series not to star Doug Bradley as Pinhead. This is a painfully bad horror movie that shows how the franchise has just got worse and worse. Parts of this movie are even done like an awful found-footage flick. It just looks so amateurish, it’s pathetic. Some have even commented that it looks like a mockbuster from The Asylum.

Two young men decide to take a trip to Tijuana, Mexico where one of them accidentally kills a girl. They then come into contact with the dreaded puzzle box and encounter Pinhead (Stephen Smith Collins). Their families try to piece together what happened to them but they too, find themselves facing Pinhead and the Cenobites.

The two friends are just so unlikeable that I didn’t care what happened to them. Their families are so incredibly dull as well. The worst thing about this film is the new Pinhead. He doesn’t look remotely intimidating. Doug Bradley as Pinhead in the earlier films was usually one of the highlights no matter how bad some of the other films were. Pinhead never got loads to actually do but here, he gets almost nothing to do. The other Cenobites are looking a lot cheaper than they usually do as well.

“Hellraiser: Revelations” is anything but scary. The acting is horrendous, the found-footage sections are annoying, the characters are boring, the costumes look cheap and the special effects are unconvincing. This is low-budget shlock and it cannot disguise it. Some “Hellraiser” fans may like the fact that this one follows the mythology of the early films more closely than some of the later instalments but I think they will still find it hard to enjoy this movie. This is just a complete disappointment without an ounce of the creativity that made the early “Hellraiser” films at least somewhat engaging.

“Haunt” is a horror film that does a surprisingly good job of building up the tension in its early scenes but ends up feeling like a bunch of other movies stitched together. I felt like I watching “The Funhouse”, “Saw”, “Texas Chainsaw Massacre” and “All Hallows’ Eve” all mixed together.

A group of friends decide to spend their Halloween visiting a haunted house attraction. It starts off as a bit of fun but soon they begin to fear that this is not just for show and that their lives are in very real danger. Is it as deadly as it appears or is it all an elaborate show? By the end of the night, they will find out.

The characters in “Haunt” are your typical horror movie characters so don’t expect too much. I guess they remind me most of the characters in the “Saw” films as they are tasked with different challenges and obstacles as part of the haunted house experience. The people working at the haunted house all wear masks. Unfortunately, I cannot discuss them without spoiling the whole film. Let’s just say that some of them look absolutely ridiculous. There’s also another character that turns up in the third act but serves absolutely no purpose whatsoever.

If you liked any of the movies I mentioned earlier then you’ll probably like “Haunt”. I think this film could have worked if it had gone in a different direction but I felt what we got was way too generic. It had the potential to be genuinely chilling but it feels way too much like other films out there. The ending is almost comedic. This is a rather violent film with other disturbing imagery in it so definitely don’t think about letting any kids or younger teens see this one.

Steven Seagal (“Marked For Death”, “Half Past Dead”) stars in “Driven To Kill”, a very generic revenge thriller. It’s like “Death Wish”, 2004’s “The Punisher” and a ton of other films. It’s not Seagal at his worst but it’s going to be hard to remember much about this movie once it’s over.

Ruslan Drachev (Seagal) is a crime novelist that used to be part of the Russian mafia. His ex-wife has remarried and his daughter (Laura Mennell “Watchmen”) is going to marry the son of a prominent Russian mobster. On their wedding day, Ruslan’s ex-wife is murdered and his daughter is left in a critical condition. Now, he must find the men responsible and make them pay for what they have done.

Seagal looks disinterested as he embarks on his quest for revenge. He’s not remotely convincing as a crime novelist. His fighting skills are underwhelming as usual. The villains in this movie are so forgettable. There are several Eastern European men in tracksuits for Seagal to pummel. At one point, Seagal even beats up somebody who isn’t even a real bad guy. There’s a somewhat unhelpful pawnshop owner that gets subjected to Seagal’s wrath. The other characters in this movie are mediocre.

“Driven To Kill” just felt so similar to every other revenge movie out there. Sure, it has a Russian vibe to it with lots of swearing in Russian and stereotypical Russian music playing throughout but I’ve seen a ton of other action films with Russian mobsters. If you are a big fan of Seagal then this is another average Seagal flick to check out. Otherwise, I imagine you will find this to be an underwhelming picture. If you want a good revenge movie with Eastern European gangsters then I think you will agree that “John Wick” is far better.

Steven Seagal (“Black Dawn”, “Into The Sun”) stars in “A Good Man”, another corny action flick. If you have seen any of Seagal’s films since the early 2000s then you know exactly what to expect. The film was directed by Keoni Waxman (“Hunt To Kill”), who has worked with Seagal on numerous projects including “Maximum Conviction” and “Mercenary: Absolution”.

Alexander (Seagal) is a soldier on a mission to execute two targets. He kills one but the other escapes unscathed. He leaves the Special Forces and goes to live in Bucharest where he befriends Lena (Iulia Verdes), the girl living in the apartment next to his. He discovers that she is in serious trouble with Russian mobsters and he must use his specialist skills to protect her.

Seagal waddles around slapping his enemies. He never looks convincing during any of the action sequences. He frequently wears a trench coat in this film (even while making love). He’s still whispering most of the dialog too. The Lena character is okay. There are a lot of villains in this film as we have Islamic terrorists, a Chinese arms dealer (Tzi Ma “Rush Hour”, “Arrival”), Russian gangsters, a paedophile and a corrupt Romanian cop. The main one is Mr. Chen, the arms dealer. Tzi Ma is marginally enjoyable as the bad guy. The other characters in the film are very forgettable.

“A Good Man” is your typical Seagal film with cheesy dialog, a generic plot and lacklustre action scenes. You find yourself laughing at just how absurd it is that an overweight Seagal fumbling around is able to defeat so many bad guys. If you’re a big fan of Seagal then this is another one to add to the collection but for everybody else, there’s nothing here that’s going to make you change your mind about Seagal.

“Frankenstein Conquers The World” (also known as “Frankenstein vs. Baragon”) is another giant monster flick from Japan. It’s made by Toho, who also did “Godzilla”, “Mothra” and “Rodan”. This definitely feels much more like one of those films than any other film involving Frankenstein’s Monster.

During the fall of Germany to Allied forces, the Nazis ship the heart of the Frankenstein’s Monster to the Hiroshima. Years later, the effects of the nuclear radiation are still having serious consequences as the Frankenstein’s Monster is growing rapidly until he becomes a giant monster. Scientists and the military try to capture or kill the Monster but things get even more dangerous when another creature, Baragon, appears.

You may recognise America’s Nick Adams (“Invasion Of Astro-Monster”) as one of the scientists. He does a reasonable job. Of course, the highlights of the film involve the goofy monsters. There are so many “Frankenstein” films out there but this is the first (and probably the only one) where the Monster turns into a giant monster. The fact that the guy playing the Monster is not wearing a big, rubber suit means he is able to move more freely than any actor playing Godzilla. The Monster then of course fights Baragon. Baragon looks great yet I wish he had a little more screen time.

“Frankenstein Conquers The World” is about as cheesy as you can get but I really enjoyed it. There are a few surprisingly violent shots involving dead animals but for the most part, this is just light-hearted fun. If you like the “Godzilla” movies then this is basically a bonus one. There’s no ‘King of the Monsters’ here but everything else is here. Also, what other film features Nazis, Frankenstein’s Monster and a giant reptile? If you’re expecting a more traditional “Frankenstein” films then you’ll have to look at the Universal or Hammer “Frankenstein” pictures.

“Audition” might be the most disturbing film I’ve ever seen. It’s a fascinating flick from Japan that manages to be deeply unsettling even though most of the movie lacks any horrifying imagery. Much of it is like a romantic film and then it slowly morphs into a horror thriller. It makes the few horror moments all the more powerful when they’re brief.

Shigeharu Aoyama (Ryo Ishibashi “The Grudge”, “War”) is a widower hoping to find a new wife. He gets his friend to start auditions for a fake movie so that Aoyama can select the woman he desires. It’s no real contest though as he falls deeply for Asami Yamazaki (Eihi Shiina “Tokyo Gore Police”, “The Outrage”). However, he will soon learn that she is not as innocent as she initially appears.

The Aoyama character is really good as he’s a nice guy that just desperately wants to be with this young woman. He goes against the advice of his friend as he pursues Asami. Ryo Ishibashi does a good job. However, Eihi Shiina steals the show as Asami. She should be considered one of the greatest villains in cinema history. I wish the film’s marketing did a better job of hiding her evil side as it would make the twist more shocking. When you stick her on the different posters with various instruments of torture, it’s no real surprise when she turns out to be bad.

“Audition” was directed by Takashi Miike (“Ichi The Killer”, “One Missed Call”) and he’s known for making very extreme films. During some sequences, the line between reality and a nightmare is blurred. This somehow makes it even more unsettling. This is a seriously disturbing film and it’s definitely not for those of a nervous disposition. Even horror directors such as Eli Roth (“Hostel”) and Rob Zombie (“The Devil’s Rejects”) have cited this film as being truly disturbing so you know it must be terrifying.

Based on the hit “Ed, Edd N Eddy” cartoon show, “Ed, Edd N Eddy's Big Picture Show” serves as the series’ finale. Like the show, it’s not exactly great but it’s got a lot of creative energy and just enough good gags to make it work.

Ed, Edd and Eddy have crossed the line with their latest scam as now the entire neighbourhood is out for revenge. They decide to leave the area and go in search of Eddy’s older brother. The only problem is that they have no clue where he lives. The three friends will get into all sorts of trouble on their quest.

I think my favourite of the main three characters has to be Edd. He’s easily the most intelligent of the group and I just find him to be the most likeable. When it comes to the other kids from the neighbourhood, I like Rolf and Jonny the most. Basically, everybody from the show is here and they all get enough to say and do. We also finally get to see Eddy’s brother, who was often discussed on the show but never seen. The animation on the characters is very expressive. It reminds me a little of “The Ren & Stimpy Show”.

“Ed, Edd N Eddy's Big Picture Show” will delight fans of the series and provide them with a fitting end. I think the series is relatively enjoyable and I thought this film was too. There are some gags that don’t work all that well but you really do have to admire the effort put in. The characters are so full of life that you are never bored. If you’ve never seen any episodes of the show, you might not get it all but you’ll quickly understand the basic concept. The show was never complicated and neither is this movie.

“DeepStar Six” is not a particularly bad film but the fact is, we’ve seen everything in it done better elsewhere. It’s basically an underwater version of “Alien” and it came out the same year as “Leviathan” and “The Abyss”. The problem is that all those other films are terrific so this one just ends up feeling rather underwhelming.

In “DeepStar Six”, the crew of an experimental underwater base destroy a cavern and accidentally unleash some form of creature. Now, this monster threatens to destroy the whole base. Time is running out for them to escape the base before it’s too late.

One of the big problems of “DeepStar Six” is that the main characters are not very exciting. McBride (Greg Evigan) and Joyce (Nancy Everhard “The Punisher”) are just so incredibly bland and we same to spend a lot of time with these two in particular. I much preferred Scarpelli (Nia Peeples) and Van Gelder (Marius Weyers “Blood Diamond”). I even liked Snyder (Miguel Ferrer “RoboCop”) and Burciaga (Elya Baskin “Spider-Man 2”) more. The creature looks okay but we barely get to see it. I know it’s good to hold some stuff back and not show us everything straight away but we have to wait far too long before we even see a glimpse of the monster in this film. “Alien” and “The Thing From Another World” all managed to handle that better than “DeepStar Six”.

“DeepStar Six” has some impressive sets and it looks great at times but it’s really boring. I just struggled to get invested in what was going on. It’s a much better underwater sci-fi flick than “Sphere” and it’s a better “Alien” rip-off than “Forbidden World”. If you haven’t seen “Leviathan” then maybe you’ll enjoy this as the underwater “Alien”. However, if you have seen that, I imagine you are going to be really disappointed with what’s on offer here.