Arnold Schwarzenegger (“Commando”, “Predator”) stars in parody about himself and his onscreen performances in the messy “Last Action Hero”, directed by the John McTiernan (“Die Hard”).

In this movie, we meet a kid called Danny (Austin O’Brien “My Girl 2”), who is Jack Slater’s (a fictional onscreen Arnold persona) biggest fan. He is given a chance to see “Jack Slater IV” before it opens at his local cinema at a private screening. After he is given a magical ticket, he soon gets sucked into Jack Slater’s universe where he battles the evil Benedict (Charles Dance “Alien 3”) in a bid to save L.A. from the clichéd bad guys of the movie world.

Jack Slater is a boring character. Most of Arnold’s characters such as the Terminator and John Matrix in “Commando” are already so over the top they don’t need to be parodied as they’re already funny in their own unique way. For me, that makes the character seem quite unfunny but he does deliver a few good lines. Danny is incredibly bland character and not a good match for the tough cop Slater. Charles Dance gives a bland performance as the clichéd villain. Danny DeVito (“Twins”), Robert Patrick (“Terminator 2: Judgement Day”), Sharon Stone (“Basic Instinct”) and lots of other famous actors and actresses make appearance but all are forgettable.

My gripe with this movie is that the movie world seems too silly. It also doesn’t seem anything like the world we see when Danny is watching the films instead it feels like the world of “National Lampoon’s Loaded Weapon 1”. The characters are bland, the cameos are annoying and the depiction of the real world seems weird and more dangerous than the movie world with criminals at every corner. Although, some of parts are amusing such as when Danny is trying to convince Slater he’s in a movie and some of the action scenes are good but the film just feels a little clumsy, which is a real shame.

“Land of the Dead” is the fourth instalment in the zombie franchise from director George A. Romero (“Night of the Living Dead”, “Monkey Shines”). I have never understood the attraction with his zombie films or zombie movies in general and “Land of the Dead” merely cemented my scepticism of the subgenre.

The zombie outbreak that began in “Night of the Living Dead” has continued and now a large group of humans are living in a walled city. Although there is relative safety, the city is controlled by a corrupt businessman (Dennis Hopper “Speed”). However, the zombies are getting smarter and have set their sights on the city.

Most of the characters are really boring. The only one that is even vaguely interesting is the one played by Dennis Hopper but he does not get all that much screen time. We end up being subjected to a lot of the same conversations that we always seem to hear in zombie films and it’s getting so repetitive now. The zombies themselves are obviously not interesting but the special effects and make-up work is impressive throughout. One of the zombies is clearly meant to be the undead version of the biker gang leader from “Dawn of the Dead” so some fans might like a few of the nods to the older films.

“Land of the Dead” starts with some over-the-top action so I hoped that this would signal that this one was not going to take itself so seriously. However, it soon becomes clear that the film does generally take itself quite seriously and that’s when the fun stops. The action sequences are weak and the suspense is often non-existent. If you are not going to make it light-hearted, at least make it exciting rather than just depressing. Fans of the franchise seem to still enjoy this one so if you liked the others, you will probably like this one.

“In The Name of the King” is a fantasy flick from infamous director Uwe Boll (“Far Cry”, “House of the Dead”). Like many of Boll’s films, it’s based on a videogame but I’ve honestly never heard of “Dungeon Siege”. This movie has a lot of big names in it and it’s clearly trying to copy the “Lord of the Rings” franchise. However, it’s a cheap rip-off.

‘Farmer’ (Jason Statham “War”, “The Transporter”) is a simple man that must risk his life to rescue his kidnapped wife (Claire Foralni “The Medallion”) and avenge his son. He will face the forces of an evil mage (Ray Liotta “Goodfellas”) in a battle to decide the fate of the kingdom.

Jason Statham is pretty good as Farmer and he gets to use his fighting skills. Claire Forlani and John Rhys-Davies (“Raiders of the Lost Ark”) also give good performances. Burt Reynolds (“Sharky’s Machine”) looks seriously bored as King Konreid. There are also bad performances from Kristanna Loken (“Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines”) and Ron Perlman (“Alien: Resurrection”). The worst performances though come from Ray Liotta and Matthew Lillard (“Wing Commander”) as the villains. The costumes for the Krugs (knock-off Orcs) look really unconvincing.

While parts of “In The Name of the King” are actually quite fun, the special effects look awful, way too much is copied from “Lord of the Rings”, some of the performances are horrendous and it just feels too long. It’s nowhere near as bad as some of Boll’s other videogame adaptations such as “BloodRayne” and “Alone In The Dark” but it’s not exactly entertaining. Boll’s films always come across as pretty unprofessional and “In The Name of the King” is no exception. If you are really into fantasy films then maybe you’ll like this one (it’s better than “Dungeons & Dragons”).

“Blubberella” is a gross spoof film from Uwe Boll (“Postal”, “Darfur”). The film is apparently a parody of Boll’s “BloodRayne: The Third Reich” and uses the same cast and sets as that movie. Only Boll would make a parody of a third film in a relatively obscure franchise (made by him) based on a videogame franchise the masses have never heard of. This movie is awful with tons of crude gags that just don’t work.

Blubberella (Lindsay Hollister “Get Smart”) is an overweight half-vampire that battles the Nazis after they have ruined her attempts to meet Jewish men through online dating. I’m not making this up, that’s seriously the plot of this movie.

The Blubberella character is just not funny in the slightest. She’s fat and likes to eat a lot and that’s pretty much here entire character. The gag wears out before the first scene is even over. The other characters are just absolutely horrendous. We have a creepy homosexual resistance fighter, an abusive mother (played by a man in blackface) and lots of prostitutes. Boll even appears as Adolf Hitler. After enduring several of Boll’s movies, I cannot think of another individual more suited to the role of an evil madman than him.

“Blubberella” has some truly disgusting jokes including a scene where rolling pills are being inserted inside a woman. Much of it just feels awkward and unprofessional. It’s like a rehearsal for a comedy sketch on the internet. It’s not quite as bad as Boll’s “Rampage” or “House of the Dead” but it’s pretty close. I cannot compare it to the third “BloodRayne” film as I’ve not seen it but knowing the standard of Boll’s work and having sat through the first “BloodRayne”, I can imagine it being pretty terrible. Also, don’t get this film confused with the far superior “Barbarella”.

“Darfur” (also known as “Attack On Darfur”) is a disappointing film. It’s disappointing because it raises awareness of the atrocities carried out in Darfur but it’s a badly made movie. Its harrowing content becomes lost in a sea of bad editing, weak performances and poor narrative structure. The film was directed by the controversial Uwe Boll (“Far Cry”, “Blubberella”). It’s surprisingly mature for the man who made the “Postal” movie.

A group of American journalists travel to the war-torn nation of Sudan to visit villagers in a remote part of the Darfur region. They are there to document the genocide being carried out by members of the nation’s Arab majority against the blacks. They decide to stay in the village along with African Union soldiers to try and prevent a massacre.

Billy Zane (“The Phantom”, “Titanic”), Kristanna Loken (“Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines”) and Edward Furlong (“Terminator 2: Judgement Day”) all have roles as journalists and they are really bland. We don’t need these characters at all. They don’t add anything to the story and they don’t really make it more accessible to the wider audience. Why not just focus on the African Union troops, the villagers and the militants?

“Darfur” is a truly brutal movie with graphic depictions of war crimes. Expect to see women raped, babies impaled, people hacked to pieces with machetes and many shot to death. Unfortunately, you get distracted by the shoddy camerawork and jumpy editing. Honestly, I felt like I was watching a found footage flick with the way everything was shaking all over the place. The acting is bad and we just didn’t need the journalists. It’s a really shame that the film is not better as the conflict in Darfur has not received the international attention that wars in Afghanistan and Iraq have. It’s definitely one of Boll’s better films and it’s considerably better than his abysmal “Tunnel Rats” picture.

“An Inconvenient Truth” is a bold documentary about arguably the most pressing issue facing the entire planet. Since its release, some of its predictions have come true. It’s not really a film in the conventional sense, it’s a lecture or a presentation but it’s as gripping as any thriller out there and as educational as any historical epic.

Politician Al Gore gives a presentation about the destructive forces of climate change. We see him touring the world from America to Europe to Asia in his quest to raise awareness of the issue and show how the true threat that we countless millions could face within a lifetime if significant changes are not made.

I’m not particularly familiar with Al Gore’s policies in the United States but I admire his expertise when it comes to environmental science and it’s important to note that he was also instrumental in the development of the internet. I feared that he would act as a sort of arrogant saviour (like so many celebrities) but here, he is likeable and informative. He’s not trying to move you to tears or applause, he’s trying to teach you something important. He never gets too technical as he talks about issues ranging from pollution to disease to the fossil fuel lobby.

“An Inconvenient Truth” is a perfectly accessible film about climate change. This is not some radical leftist nonsense with loud noises and no substance, this is intelligent communication. It’s hard to compare this to other movies (even other documentaries) but Al Gore has created something powerful here. This is a movie that needs to be seen by the masses and especially by those in power across our world. Gore was ridiculed for his work here in a great episode of “South Park” but even that show later acknowledged that he was right all along.

“Death Race” is a 2008 remake of 1975’s “Death Race 2000”. The original film blended satire with graphic violence while the remake is more of a standard action flick but I did still really enjoy it. The new movie stars Jason Statham (“The Transporter”, “War”), solidifying his position as one of the dominant action stars of the 2000s.

In the near future, mass unemployment and increased privatisation of the prison system has led to the creation of ‘Death Race’. This is a lethal car race competition where prisoners race for their freedom by murdering other racers. Jensen Ames (Statham) is framed for murdering his wife and must partake in the race if he wishes to see his daughter ever again.

Jason Statham is good as the tough hero. Statham’s character is forced to wear a mask and pretend to be the mysterious ‘Frankenstein’ racer. Tyrese Gibson (“2 Fast 2 Furious”) plays Machine Gun Joe and he’s okay. These roles were played by David Carradine (“Lone Wolf McQuade”) and Sylvester Stallone (“First Blood”) in the original. Other actors in this new version include Ian McShane (“John Wick”) and Robin Shou (“Mortal Kombat”). One thing I really miss about the old version is all the presenters of the race.

As you can probably tell, I really liked the more comedic style of the original but I appreciate this remake. It does its own thing and makes significant changes. For example, the original had the racers run over pedestrians for points. Here, the racers have to drive over certain markers on the track to activate their weapons. It almost feels like a bloodthirsty game of “Mario Kart”. The racing here is fantastic and it’s very exciting to watch. I also like the gritty aesthetic of the world it creates. I recommend seeing both versions as they both have a lot going for them.

“Drop Dead Fred” is an aggressively unfunny comedy that feels like “Beetlejuice” meets “Problem Child”. It’s an unpleasant watch filled with a morally and emotionally confused plot and a disastrous performance from Rik Mayall (“Guest House Paradiso”).

Elizabeth Cronin (Phoebe Cates “Gremlins”, “Private School”) loses her husband, her car and her job in the space of just one day. Her childhood imaginary friend, ‘Drop Dead Fred’ (Mayall), has now returned and he’s causing more mischief than ever. Elizabeth tries to get her life back together while having to deal with the crazy antics of Drop Dead Fred. She must learn more about herself if she is to succeed.

Rik Mayall is just awful as Drop Dead Fred. I get that he’s meant to be annoying but there’s nothing fun about his performance. Some of the special effects when he gets his face squashed or has his eyes pop out are okay but they have not aged as well as the effects in “The Mask” with Jim Carrey. Phoebe Cates is actually pretty good as the downtrodden Elizabeth. We see poor Cates get terrorised by this obnoxious, vile and annoying monstrosity that is Drop Dead Fred. He wipes snot on her face and constantly gets her into trouble. The two have no chemistry whatsoever. Carrie Fisher (“Star Wars”, “The ‘Burbs”) has a role as Elizabeth’s friend and she’s actually really funny. The rest of the characters are rather dull and forgettable.

“Drop Dead Fred” is a real chore to watch. It’s such a shame to see good performances from Cates and Fisher just get violently trampled by Rik Mayall. The whole concept of the film is pretty lame and the execution is even worse. Originally, Robin Williams (“Flubber”) was offered the role and I think he would have given a much more enjoyable performance. In Mayall’s defence, the script is horrendous so he has very little to work with. Avoid “Drop Dead Fred” if you value your sanity.

“Heart Of Dragon” (also known as “Heart of the Dragon” and “Heart Of A Dragon”), is a rather entertaining film that manages to be heart-warming as well as action-packed. The movie stars Sammo Hung (“Enter The Fat Dragon”) and Jackie Chan (“Rush Hour”, “Police Story”) and both give surprisingly powerful performances.

In “Heart Of Dragon”, Chan plays Tat Fung, a cop that dreams of being a sailor. However, he is stuck caring for Dodo (Sammo Hung), his mentally handicapped brother. Everywhere Dodo goes, he seems to get into some form of trouble. Dodo even manages to get himself mixed up with violent gangsters so Tat must risk his career and his life for his brother.

Sammo Hung is really the star of the movie. Despite being a martial arts star, we don’t really see him do any fighting here. He’s very believable as an adult with severe learning difficulties. Chan is really good and does his usual fighting but he also has some time for some more emotive moments. The relationship between the brothers is really moving (especially for a martial arts flick). These two have worked together on many films but this one feels a little different from their other pairings such as “Dragons Forever”. The bad guys are okay.

“Heart Of Dragon” features some great fight scenes and a spectacular vehicle chase but it’s the slower moments that actually leave the bigger impact. A lot of people dismiss Chan’s acting abilities but here, he balances the exciting action with a strong performance. It’s not quite as exciting as “Who Am I?” or the “Police Story” movies but those that are less fond of action movies might find this one to be a great gateway because it does have more drama mixed in. If you are a fan of Jackie Chan and Sammo Hung, you really need to see this one.

“Blade Of Kings” (also known as “The Twins Effect II”) is a bizarre Chinese fantasy flick. It’s officially a sequel to “The Twins Effect” (also known as “Vampire Effect”) as both are vehicles for Hong Kong pop duo Twins (Charlene Choi, Gillian Chung) but in terms of story, they have nothing in common.

In a weird mythical land where men are treated as second-class citizens, there is a prophecy that a peasant boy will wield a magical sword and lead the fight for gender equality (it gets stranger). A group of heroes search for the sword and must do battle against an evil ruler that can change people’s sex.

I’ve never heard of the duo Twins and they never sing in this film so I’ve got no idea if they are any good as musicians. The two girls were okay but nothing special. I imagine a lot of people outside Hong Kong will have watched this movie because it also features Donnie Yen (“Iron Monkey”, “Ip Man”) and Jackie Chan (“Police Story”). Sadly, the two are barely in it (Chan only appears in one scene) but their fight is easily the highlight of the movie. The two did also have a fight in “Shanghai Knights”, which is a little better so maybe watch that movie instead if you want to see the two together. This film also stars Jackie Chan’s son, Jaycee Chan. He lacks the charisma of his father and we never see him do any martial arts.

“Blade Of Kings” has a ridiculous plot that weaves together conventional fantasy clichés with some baffling elements. I was really disappointed that we did not get to see more of Donnie Yen and Jackie Chan. The special effects are pretty lousy but some of the fight sequences are okay. This movie is very colourful and cheery but it’s so weird and confusing.